I Still Love You by Jane Lark Page B

up.
    But when she’d been on no medication at all I’d been getting exasperated and lost, because I never knew what mood she was going to wake up in, or what she’d be like when I came in from work, and I’d gotten really tired because when she was high she never slept, and I’d woken up loads of nights wondering where the hell she was…
    I walked into the living room and she smiled at me. I smiled too. I had to get over this. I had to just be happy for her. “Come on.”
    She turned to Mom and took Saint back. He’d gotten a good grip on her wig and pulled it so it was wonky.
    “Here, I’ll take him.”
    “No, I want to hold him when he knocks on his first door.”
    “You do realize he is too little to actually knock.” I laughed at her.
    “I’ll hold his hand.” That was a stubborn, sharp answer. Yes, she knew I was not in the best of moods. I needed to cheer up.
    “I’ll put the sweetie-bucket in his other hand and hold that then.”
    “Have you got the trick?”
    I patted the pocket of my suit jacket. “Yes, ma’am, I have the trick… ” It was a worm in a can, if I opened the can it would pop out.
    She took a breath, like she was gathering up a little courage, then said, “Let’s go then,” and smiled at me.
    “Bye,” Dad said.
    “Bye,” Mom nodded at me, smiling.
    When we walked out the door, my hand settled at Rach’s waist, but as I shut the door behind us she turned and looked at me. “Jason, please be in a good mood.”
    “I am.”
    “You’re not, not really, I know I’m hard work lately, but, just for tonight, can we try to enjoy it… ”
    So she was feeling down too, and trying to force herself into happiness. I gave her a hug, my arms about her and Saint. “Sorry. I am happy. This is going to be fun.”
    “Smile then.” Had I not been smiling much? Shit, I guess it wasn’t just her who was not like her old self.
    I smiled. “Smiling.”
    A tear escaped her eye. Shit. I dabbed it off with my thumb. “Don’t spoil your make-up, you spent hours on making yourself look that awful.”
    She laughed, the sound was ripped from her throat, it was nowhere near a happy sound.
    “Come on,” I slipped my arm around her shoulders, determined now to make this a good night and even more determined to get her to the party. I glanced at Saint. “Well, little man, there is one house we are not going to, and that is that bastard next door who kidnapped my ball when I was a kid. I am warning you about him right now. So let’s start on the other side of the street.”
    There were loads of people out, all talking and laughing. I breathed out, and tried to force my bad energy out with the breath. “Let’s go and spook Mr. and Mrs. Bishop.” I nodded at a mother vampire with three little ghosts as we walked down to the sidewalk, then we walked up the driveway to the porch of my parents’ nice neighbors.
    I looked at Rach, then I looked at Saint. “Here it is, your first trick or treat.” I was talking to both of them, it was true for both of them.
    She smiled, properly smiled, I could see it lift up out of excitement as she lifted Saint’s hand. It made me smile more too as I wrapped his other hand around the sweetie-pot, and held his fingers closed over it.
    “Ready to knock,” I whispered at her. Her fist was closed over Saint’s and really it was her hand that knocked, but they did the action together.
    She grinned at me in silence, as we waited for an answer. I could see her heart pulsing in the vein flickering at the base of her neck. It was cold, but we were only trick or treating in our street so we hadn’t ruined our costumes with coats, and Saint was warm, snuggled up in his woolly pumpkin onesie.
    The door handle turned, then the door opened. “Trick or Treat!” I shouted in unison with Rach.
    Mr. Bishop smiled at us, “Well what do we have here? A little pumpkin looking for a treat… What have we got for a little one? Edna!” He shouted over his shoulder.
    Mrs.