Improper Relations by Juliana Ross

Shropshire?”
    “I’m so, so sorry—”
    “It was all worth it. Every mile I traveled—every miserable, flea-bitten, waterlogged mile—was worth it. For my journey brought me here, didn’t it?”
    “I never meant to cause you any trouble.”
    “I know. Will you tell me what happened to make you leave as you did? Without even a word of farewell?”
    “We were discovered. Someone saw us together. So your mother called me before her, told me she knew everything, and gave me an hour to pack my things and go.”
    “That I understand. But why didn’t you simply come to me directly?”
    “She said she would cut you off if I didn’t leave. She said you would lose everything.”
    “And you believed her?”
    “What else could I do? I knew you wanted me, felt lust for me, but you’d never talked of anything more.”
    “I know. I know, God help me. But I’m telling you now. I love you, Hannah.”
    How I’d longed to hear those words from him, but they were so hard to believe. He saw the doubt in my eyes and laughed ruefully.
    “Fine, then—here’s my full confession. Until that afternoon, when you saw me with Ida, I scarcely was aware of your presence. I admit it. I still have no idea why I behaved in such a fashion, what impulse drove me to act so rashly in front of you. But when you reacted as you did—no hysterics, no recriminations, as dignified as the greatest duchess in the land—I think that’s when I began to fall in love with you.”
    “Why did you say nothing of how you felt?”
    “For the simple reason that I was an ass. A complete and utter ass. I compromised you in every possible way, and not once in all these months did I offer you the hope of anything more. For that I beg your forgiveness.”
    All that time I’d assumed he was simply being Leo with me, charming me as he seemed to do everyone else. He’d been affectionate, doting, attentive to my every need. But he’d never proclaimed his love for me. Had made me no promises.
    Probably it was for the best, given what awaited him if he were to continue to defy his parents. Before I gave in, before I surrendered to him again, I had to make him see sense.
    “Leo, you must listen. If you don’t marry Lady Alice, you’ll lose everything. Marry her, and I’ll stay with you. I swear I won’t leave you—I’ll be your mistress, if you wish. But I cannot allow you to do this. How will you live if your family disowns you?”
    “Have you heard nothing I’ve said? I want you. Only you.”
    “But my station is so unequal to yours, my—”
    “To the devil with anyone who thinks you beneath me.”
    “Then you must be practical. How will you live? You’re dependent on your father for everything.”
    “On that point you’re quite wrong,” he said, and there was a note of conviction—pride, even—in his voice. “Did you ever consider how I spent my days when we were apart?”
    “I…I always assumed you spent them as any other gentleman might,” I ventured. True enough, though jealousy had been the reason for my lack of curiosity.
    “I see. One aimless pursuit after another, with a string of lovelorn mistresses stretching all the way to Paris and back again. Well, I have a surprise for you. I work. I’ve been working for almost seven years now, ever since I left Eton.”
    “Doing what?” I managed to stammer out, not entirely believing my ears.
    “I’m a director and part owner of the East Lancashire Railway Company. I own three cotton mills in Preston. And I have a stake in an ironworks in Coalbrookdale.”
    Again he grinned, this time at my expression of utter astonishment. “It began when a school friend asked me to invest in a venture he was financing. There seemed no harm in it, and it was scarcely more risky than a game of whist, so I added my funds to the pot. We were so successful that I earned enough to purchase the first of my mills.”
    As my surprise at his revelation ebbed away, embarrassment began to take its place.