In the Silks by Lisa Wilde Page B

into the forefront of his mind.
    Who knows?
    That night after he had taken Cameron back to the station, Ryan lay in bed smoking a joint. He had popped a few Ativan to help him sleep, so far no luck. Usually after a break up, you would just replay all the good times and maybe even the bad that you had with that person. All of the what-ifs? But Ryan found his what-ifs were centered around Henry. He imagined what would have happened if Frankie hadn’t walked in, or if Ryan had tried harder to make Henry stay, or maybe gone looking for him as he had considered doing way back then. He wouldn’t have dreamed that he would ever see him again, or that Henry would want to see him again. He had been so spooked that night. That thought made Ryan smile, not that he thought it was funny. But if Henry had known how much more he wanted him after that. It was strange because Ryan usually went for guys as assertive, if not more than he was, but Henry was different.
    When he got that message, he felt like an ass because he had a boyfriend; he wouldn’t have cheated but he had been excited at the idea of seeing Henry. He wondered if Henry’s reappearance in his life had had anything to do with how easily he had given in to the breakup.  He honestly wasn’t sure now because it had been mutual.
    After he finished smoking and turned over starting to drift, his mind went back to Henry what-ifs. What if Henry was assertive now? After all he was the one to contact Ryan. Ryan had felt like maybe there was a more dominant Henry lying just beneath the surface, just waiting to feel safe enough to come out and play. Ryan rolled from his stomach, his preferred sleeping position, to his back. He kicked the sheet off; imagining Henry just taking what he wanted from Ryan had him excruciatingly hard. It wasn’t long before Ryan was spent and falling asleep, dreaming of Henry.
    ~~~~~
    The days following meeting up with Ryan seemed to drag. Henry had his number and wanted to text him. Just to say hi, but he refused. He wanted Ryan to get in touch with him. He already felt like a creepy stalker dude. He had seen the man’s show and gone back the next night to watch again. He had not so accidentally left that little tidbit out of their conversation. Had there been more performances, he probably would have gone to those as well, truth be told. But Ryan didn’t need to know any of that.
    The day of the party came, and Henry tried to keep as busy as possible waiting for the time to get ready to come. He had wanted to go to his parents’ house and check on them but seeing his father and then going to Ryan’s didn’t feel right. So Henry decided to call and check on them instead. Pat texted asking what he was up to and rather than tell his brother exactly where he was going, he bent the truth. Henry lied for shit and everyone in his family knew that.  He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to lie; this was a perfectly innocent house warming. It wasn’t a big deal to be going to a party but he was already nervous about Pat and what he’d said to Henry last time they were together. He didn’t want to give Pat any rope to hang him with, so he messaged Pat that he was meeting up with some co-workers for a birthday party and left it at that.
    He started to get ready about six o’clock. Ryan said that people were going to start showing up around eight. Henry showered and shaved. Combing his hair in the mirror, he wondered if he should have gotten a haircut. His mother was always on his case about being shaggy and how it looked un-professional, but he didn’t mind the loose curls that hung right at the top of his ears.
    Henry went to his room to look for something to wear. He usually didn’t stress over his clothes too much. However, tonight he was taking a little more time to consider his options. He tried on a few shirts before finally settling on a black V-neck tee and some dark wash jeans. He wanted to be comfortable but look good too. Henry went over to