Inevitable by Nicola Haken

grateful he didn’t push me for idle chitchat on the way
home. I suspected it was because he could tell I’d been crying and
probably felt uncomfortable. I got him to drop me a few houses away
form my door, seeing as I never knew what kind of show my mum would
put on lately.
    Thankfully,
she was fast asleep in bed.
    I took a quick shower and changed into some purple pyjama
bottoms and a pink cami before climbing into bed and curling myself
up in my quilt. Despite my shower I could still smell Blaine on my
skin – he smelt of jojoba and some kind of expensive, masculine
cologne. I ran my tongue over my lips, remembering the taste of him
– beer mixed with mint and tobacco and something raw and manly that I
couldn’t place. But then he left me.
    Again.
     
    I woke up
feeling like I’d had no sleep at all after spending most of the
night tossing and turning and trying to think of anything that
wasn’t Blaine. That didn’t go too well. I wondered if it was my
kiss that annoyed him. But when I replayed it in my mind, relived
the way he twisted his hands in my hair, the way he pulled me
tightly into his body, the way he groaned and invaded my mouth with
his tongue… No. There was no way he didn’t want that as much as I
did.
    He said he would make all my problems worse. What the hell
did that mean? Maybe he thought people would shun me because of his
reputation. Newsflash: everyone hates m e anyway! Besides, surely that was
for me to decide.
    That kiss, that deliciously perfect, wonderful kiss, played
over and over in my head whilst getting ready for school and all the way
through breakfast. I thought back to how I snuck my hand under his
shirt – expecting him to bat it away like he did the redhead. He
didn’t. He didn’t flinch as I smoothed my palms over his toned,
warm flesh, tracing the curves of his muscles with the pads of my
fingers.
    And then I
felt them.
    What
felt like hundreds of tiny raised scars splayed across the entire
width of his broad back. That was the moment he pulled away. That
was when he ran. Realisation slapped me across the face.
    Dear god that was why he ran!
    Did he
think I would judge him? Me of all people! My home-life has been
front-page news since my first day here which hardly puts me in a
position to deride anyone – not that I would anyway. Maybe he
thought I would use what I discovered to turn the unwanted
attention away from me. Did he think I would tell people? Give them
something else to gossip about besides me and my screwed-up mother?
I struggled to believe, it hurt too much to believe, he could
actually think that little of me.
    I’d developed an utterly nonsensical, completely
unreciprocated infatuation with Blaine Elwood, and when it hit me
that I didn’t know him at all, I start ed to cry pathetically into my Cheerios.
What a stupid cow I was…
    “ I’m sorry, Maddie.” My mum ’s voice startled me and I quickly wiped
my tears away on the sleeve of my grey jumper and busied myself
with the task of clearing my breakfast dishes, hoping she didn’t
notice.
    “ What for?” I asked without looking at her, rinsing my bowl
through in the kitchen.
    “ You know what for. I’ve not been myself lately. I’ve put too
much on your shoulders.” Reluctantly I turned to face her – she
needed me.
    “ I just don’t know what to do anymore, Mum. I’m just not sure
we can do this alone anymore. I think you need to see somebody –
somebody who knows what they’re talking about,” I admitted
honestly. Her body stiffened and she backed away a few
steps.
    “ No way, Maddie. You know damn well what’ll happen if anyone
finds out what kind of shit I’ve put you through.”
    I shook my
head fiercely at her.
    “ I’m eighteen in two months, Mum. Nobody is going to take me
away from you. And I think you know that. I think you’re just
scared,” I accused. “But you don’t need to be, Mum. I’m here. I
always have been and I always will be. I just want you to