happier but my heart ached hollow inside.
“Yes, it is! What are you going to wear?”
“Um…I guess I…”
“It’s a good thing you have me,” she said, shaking her blonde head. “Have a seat in the living room. I brought dresses.”
She looked at Kelli then. “Call the team and get them over here. We only have a few hours.”
I felt like I was in a fog as I sat there at my kitchen island and looked at dresses and listened to the excited chatter around me. I was honored…but at the same time all I wanted was Charlie.
“By the way, who are you taking?”
“What?”
“Tonight!” Kelli said, frustrated with me. “You need a date. That scum will be there too and you know he’ll bring a date.”
“Matt will be there?”
“Yes. He’s getting the breakout actor award.” She winced regrettably.
I curled my lip. “Stop that, your lips will wrinkle,” Brooke said. I rolled my eyes.
“Who should I call?” Kelli said again.
“No one…I’m not taking a date.” The hole in my chest widened.
“Jackie! You cannot go there alone the media will tear you up…”
“I’m not taking a date, Kelli! That’s it!”
She sighed frustrated and went to get the door. She ushered a team of stylists and disappeared again. A while later she brought me my phone. “It’s your mother.”
Mom's face light up on the video screen and Kelli held the phone up in front of me. “Hi honey! Kelli told me about your award. I’m so proud I could burst!”
“Oh…thanks Mom.” I looked at Kelli. She looked guilty.
“So, should I call Charlie?”
“No! No Mama…he’s not going to care. I have to go now Mama. I love you.”
“We love you too honey! Congratulations!” I hung up.
“Kelli!”
“I’m sorry. I just hate to see you go without a date.”
“I do not need a date. I’m fine alone, okay? I'm over it.” Liar.
For the next three hours my team fussed over me. Finally when they thought I was gorgeous enough they stepped aside.
Brooke left behind an apricot colored Vera Wang gown, backless with delicate beading around the neckline in front and a sharp slit up the side. I really loved it…but I just couldn’t get into the party mood. I had to have my dress on and be ready for my car at seven. It was five when they all left me alone.
I retreated to my room and stared at the wall. I loved his eyes, his smell, the way he mumbled and held me in his sleep. The way he was brave and kind and good... I missed how I felt when I was with him, free and beautiful. I swallowed a sob and patted my eyeliner. It's hard to imagine that I'll find someone like him, who called me on my bullshit and came to my rescue even when I was determined to hurt myself. I was willing to make it work but this time it was him who'd given up on us. I sighed and reached for my clutch.
The car arrived right on time and took me down to Hollywood. I could see the red carpet chaos as we pulled up out front. As soon as the driver opened the door and I stepped out, flashbulbs blazed around me and I squinted against the lights. I saw Matt and some barely legal blonde stepping out of the car behind me. The reporters went wild then. The timing of it all was fucking ridiculous. I straightened my