Infernal Affairs by Jes Battis Page A

occurrence. Like, as soon as I get to a new place, I feel like I’ve already been there. And my powers are changing.”
    “Of course. The more you use them, the stronger they get. You’re becoming a better psychic, and that’s natural.”
    “No. I mean, yes, I’m better trained now. But they’re changing in other ways. Sometimes I feel like I have even less control over them. Like I’m just a passenger in my own body.”
    “Materia can feel that way sometimes. If I channel too much power, too fast, it’s like something’s racing through my body. I can’t control it, either.”
    “But you can. You always do.” He stared at me strangely. “Tess, I’m afraid of losing control. There was one time—”
    He bit the words off sharply. He couldn’t meet my gaze again.
    “Sweetheart. You can tell me anything.”
    Derrick exhaled. “It was a week ago. Miles and I got into a fight. Something really stupid about one of us forgetting to return a movie. I looked at him and said, I don’t give a shit. If you care so much about the fines, go return the movie yourself. And he got the weirdest look on his face. Then he left, got into the car, and returned the movie. He came back twenty minutes later, got into bed, and didn’t say a word about it the next day.”
    “I think that’s called being a good boyfriend.”
    He shook his head. “No. I know his face. I know his expressions. I can tell when he’s being sweet, or when he’s trying to stop an argument, or when he’s just humoring me. But this was different.” I could feel his hand trembling slightly under mine. “Tess, when I said Go return it yourself , it was like I gave him a command. One minute he was mad at me, and the next, his expression was just blank. It was like I watched the personality drain out of his eyes, and all that was left was obedience. He did it because I ordered him to.”
    I frowned. “Were you using a control tone? I thought that only worked on normates and younger people. Miles would be less susceptible to it.”
    “That’s the thing. I wasn’t. I didn’t channel any power. It was completely effortless. I told him to do something, and he did it. I feel like if I’d told him to smash his fist through the window, he would have done that, too.”
    “But you didn’t. And I’m not sure you should get so worked up about convincing your boyfriend to return a movie. Even if you did slip in a bit of control tone, maybe it was by accident. Maybe he was already thinking of doing it, and you just kind of nudged him a little further. But I doubt it was coercion.”
    “I’m not so sure.” He shook his head. “I don’t want it to happen again. I don’t ever want to control his mind, even for something so little and stupid.”
    “You just have to be careful.”
    “But I didn’t even know it was happening. How can I keep myself from doing it again? And who’s to say that the next time won’t be worse?”
    “You can’t drive yourself crazy worrying about it. Just count to ten when you feel like you’re about to freak out.”
    “It’s not enough.”
    “There’s nothing else you can do. And if you break up with him just to save him from a future of possible mind control, you aren’t being ethical. You’re just being an idiot. The only difference between your mind control and mine is that I have to work harder at it. And usually mine involves a bribe. But couples have been doing the same thing for centuries.”
    “You know it’s not the same.”
    “Of course. But do you really want to beat yourself up every time the guy decides to do something nice for you? We can’t always blame the occult world for our relationship disasters.”
    “I don’t want to hurt him.”
    “What—like you’re going to vaporize his brain while he’s sleeping? I don’t think your power works that way. You’re not a zombie or a neural parasite. The worst you could do is accidentally give him a migraine.”
    “I don’t know.” He blinked. “I