Is It Just Me? by Miranda Hart Page B

you remember being with your friends? Nobody obsessed with whether or not they’ve just been ‘texted’ a picture of a pavement on their ‘mobile phone’. Do you remember any of this? You probably don’t, actually, because your brain’s so bloody scrambled from all the animal videos you’ve been watching.
    Twig isn’t popular any more because all she ever does is play on her Game Boy and we can’t get a conversation out of her. And when Milly got addicted to her Pac-Man for a term, she missed out on the inter-house dance competition. She’ll never get back the joy of doing a routine to Yazz’s ‘The Only Way Is Up’. If you in the future are anything like that, you need to hear Milly’s loss.
    You used to have good, happy, playful times you could really appreciate. You could really communicate with people, deeply, honestly and happily. I don’t want to be thirty-eight and so obsessed with twittering at my followers (whom I have NEVER MET) and getting poked at that I lose the ability to really LIVE.
    Please remember that you were very happy before you got into all this techno-business. You may bang on about how I need to learn things from the future, but you’d do very well to learn a few things from the past. And if you really want some kind of technology, what’s wrong with the Rubik’s cube? That is HARD. * punches air, collapses exhausted to the floor * Phew! Gosh, that was a jolly good bit of public speaking, wasn’t it? I’m very talented. I am clearly wasted as an office manager and should defo-pants be prime minister.
    ‘You can learn from the past.’ I like that.
    I am pleased with that and I am glad I have made my point.
    ‘We must remember to also learn from the past.’ Yes, that’s great. I’m going to tweet that . . .
     
     
     
     
PIT STOP!
    Well, I don’t know about you MDRC, but I’m
exhausted
after that. I now declare it time for a literary pit stop; where we can catch our breath, have our individual baths, and a little mull-ette over our experiences so far. (By ‘mull-ette’ I mean a small mull, not an 80s hair-do for which, if I am ever prime minister, people will be shot for partaking of in the current age.)
    Together we’ve romped gloriously through Music, Hobbies, Office Life and Technology, not to mention the ever-so-tiny topic of ‘Life’. Wouldn’t get that from a John Grisham, would you? No. What’s that? You actually quite enjoy a fast-paced legal thriller? Well, good for you. Ungrateful. For all you know, we might be about to enter the fast-paced legal thriller section of this little book-ette. 1 You’ll have to wait and see.
    I think we have done very well together so far. And I think we now deserve some fun. How about a little tick-box game? I know – thrilling. If you’ve done any of the activities listed below (and I VERY much hope you have), then please place a firm, joyful tick in the relevant box:
    Reading (it is clear to me that you can read, and indeed have been reading, so well done for that and please tick this box)
    Forward roll
    Handstand
    Sung
Annie
or _________ (
Insert musical of choice
) loudly with blatant disregard to your neighbours who might be ‘musically cool’
    Sashayed whilst making a sachet-based beverage
    Set up an Oddly Shaped Socially Awkward People Who Have No Talent For Ballet or _________ (
Insert dance of choice
) Club in your local area
    Rammed a vol-au-vent onto someone’s nose at a formal gathering
    Obsessed over your lunch
    Spun childishly in a swivel chair
    Pondered the mysteries of life, leant back and sighed, ‘Life, eh?’
    I hope you’ve ticked a fair few boxes but, if not, don’t fret, for we have much, much further to romp together, and many more marvellous activities to sample.
    What I will ask of you is to partake in a task. I fear that Little Miranda might be right in that we are verging on obsessional about our mobile phones. So our first pit-stop task is:
    Try and go a day without a mobile. For we might