It Gets Better by Dan Savage

butch dyke and you’ll be hot. Everyone will love it. It will be good.
    Work hard and then go do something fun on Saturday night, like go look at girls . . . that’s better.
    One of the nice things about being in the country is you don’t have to deal with people all the time. There’s land out there, and you can just get away. Go build yourself a little fort in the woods. In the rural areas I’ve lived, people are more concerned with what I can do and what skills I have, rather than who I’m involved with. Competence and confidence are sexy. If you live in the country, you just “know” how to do stuff—the ladies love that. Also, there’s a long tradition of support for unconventional people in rural areas. Even when people are mean, you don’t have to go too far to be reminded about how great it is to be alive because nature is so beautiful. You can do things now that will feel good and will give you something to talk about with people when you’re older.
    Growing up I only knew one person who was gay. I took a lot of crap for being how I was, and honestly, I didn’t even know that I was gay then. Everyone else seemed to think they knew that I was gay, which was kind of hard. There wasn’t a lot of help either in those days. If I had wanted to talk with someone about all of it, it wouldn’t have been very welcomed.
    My grandparents had an outhouse and a hand pump we used to have to use to get water out of the ground. They grew and canned their own food, and kept chickens. I’ve had it much easier than they did, but the skills I learned from my family have served me well. Now I live on a farm in upstate New York. I build chicken coops. When there’s a problem with a building or machine, I can fix it. My parents are not glad that I am gay but they are proud of raising a daughter who can take care of herself and build things. My girlfriend and I have both tried living in urban areas but we didn’t really like it. We choose instead to live as an out lesbian couple with her parents on their family farm. Every day we are so happy. I think that things are getting better, for everybody, even in rural areas.
    I still struggle with feeling okay. A while ago, I was even hospitalized. I got treatment in a psychiatric hospital after becoming really depressed. My friend killed herself, and I didn’t handle it well. Psych facilities in rural counties are rough places. I don’t ever want to go back. When I say that it gets better, I am not saying it will always be easy. You will just have more choices about how to handle tough times. That’s a big improvement.
    I know that maybe right now it feels like you don’t have a lot of choices, and maybe you don’t. But things will open up. You have to just ride it out. As someone who has been there, I can assure you, it gets better. If you’re living in the country, I’m sure there are some things that are kind of frustrating for you, and you’re probably rockin’ the flannel shirt every now and then, but that is going to be totally hot to somebody someday. It’s gonna get real better.
    Krissy builds chicken coops and fixes things in upstate New York. Krissy is a member of the Austin Project, led by Dr. Omi Osun, Joni L. Jones, and Sharon Bridgforth.

HOW IT GOT BETTER FOR AN ORDAINED CHRISTIAN MINISTER
    by Professor Stephen V. Sprinkle
    FORT WORTH, TX
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    T his year marks the fortieth anniversary of my high school graduation. As I look back across my life, I can remember times that weren’t so good. I was a closeted gay man in a church setting that did not particularly congratulate young Christians for being gay or lesbian.
    So when I received my call to the ministry, I was also living my way into what it meant to be gay. I remember very clearly making the decision that I would not be able to allow myself affection in this life if I were going to serve God in the church. It