It Had to Be You by Lynda Renham

years ago. His was at 2 p.m. but my solicitor doesn’t have any record of when my will was made, no appointment book or anything. He probably put the appointment book in his pipe and smoked it for all I can tell. Honestly, what a bloody cock-up.
    ‘ I don’t believe it,’ mumbles Muffy. ‘How did he know her anyway? You don’t think he was her bit of posh do you?’
    God, what an awful thought. Then again, William Ellis as a bit of posh doesn ’t seem so bad. Obviously only if you’re desperate I mean. I wouldn’t give him a second glance, obviously.
    ‘ Apparently he helped her with investments and stuff,’ I say, placing my teapot on the dressing table.
    ‘ I bet he did,’ she scoffs.
    ‘ No, that’s what he does and a lot he did for her free of charge.’
    ‘ I bet he did,’ she scoffs again. ‘Little shit.’
    I exhale.
    ‘Not all men are little shits, Muffy.’
    I suppose she ’s right though. So far all the men I’ve met have been little shits, apart from my dad of course, but for all I know he could be a little shit too. I look out of my bedroom window to a view of a field with horses grazing. Oh, it would all have been so lovely if only William bloody Ellis wasn’t here.
    ‘ Want to bet?’
    ‘ He’s been here two weeks already. The place is furnished and everything. I think Aunt Vera was renting it out. He’s renovating the outbuildings and turning them into offices, and he’s got a Lamborghini, and oh Muffy, what am I going to do?’ I say, beginning to cry.
    ‘ It will be okay Binki,’ she says.
    ‘ Don’t tell Oliver will you? I don’t want him to know it all went wrong. He would love that,’ I hiccup, wiping my eyes on the facial wipe.
    ‘ Of course not, but he is sorry Binki. You could come back and start again.’
    Bloody hell, is that Muffy speaking. Feminist, down with men and up with the Hovis Muffy?
    ‘ Are you serious?’
    ‘ I hate you being upset.’
    There is a rapping at the door and Ellis pops his head round. I tell Muffy I will call her back.
    ‘ I could have been naked,’ I snap.
    He cocks his head and says,
    ‘Then we’d be even. I’m popping out to get some Chinese. Do you want some? We could talk things through over a chow mein and a glass of wine. What do you think?’
    I think you can ’t get me to change my mind with a chow mein is what I think. God, some men are unbelievable. Mind you, I am starving and if he’s paying, God knows he can afford it with that bloody Lamborghini sitting outside.
    ‘ Well …’
    He grins.
    ‘Great. Chow mein, sweet and sour and maybe a satay, you okay with that?’
    That sounds fabulous.
    ‘I guess it will suffice,’ I say huffily, hesitantly reaching for my purse.
    ‘ It’s on me,’ he says.
    ‘ I couldn’t possibly,’ I protest.
    ‘ Oh yes you could, or else you’d have been in your purse a lot quicker. Don’t think of locking me out. I’m quite capable of climbing through a window and if I have to smash one you can bet it will be yours. See you in a bit.’
    What an arrogant bugger. I call Muffy back.
    ‘Oh well, at least it was chow mein and satay, better that than kwik wank or vee dee,’ she laughs.
    ‘ It’s not funny,’ I snap. ‘He’s obviously trying to get round me with food and wine. Well it won’t work. I’ll phone you later. I’m going to nose around my house while he is gone.’
    I hang up and watch him reverse out of the driveway. I look around my bedroom which is very cosy with lovely pine wardrobes and dressers. Just a shame it doesn ’t have an en suite. It seems I’ve got to share the bathroom with Mr Arrogance which is just what I don’t need. I wander along the white painted landing and open the bathroom door. His scent hits me and my stomach flutters, and I find myself wondering if he has a girlfriend and where he lived before. I bet Muffy is right and he did take advantage of poor Aunt Vera. Maybe if I can prove that then I’ll get him out of the house.
    The bathroom is