It's Not Cheating by Laran Mithras

went to get changed.
    Out in the backyard, the light from the tub provided the
only illumination. Drinks were set out, glinting darkly amber.
    Dieter's eyes went wide when he saw me. "Ach, a wonder
to behold."
    I giggled, feeling happily numb. I tried not to trip. I sank
into the hot bubbling water and stretched out my legs. My feet hit Dieter's.
    He grinned. "Herr Monroe, would—"
    Derek snorted. "It's Derek, dammit."
    The German shrugged. "I am sorry, it is
customary—"
    "You're in America. Call me Derek or you're
fired."
    "Ach, ja, ja. Derek."
    "What do you want?" My husband's smile was amused.
    "May I have the pleasure of sitting with your
lovely?"
    He wants to sit with me? I giggled.
    He turned his head to me and looked at me horrified. "I
am clean!" He comically slapped water on his chest and scraped downward.
"Ja, every day."
    I laughed.
    Derek said, "If she wants to."
    I slid my glass over next to his and started to scoot next
to him.
    He grabbed my arms and steered me into the center. "Sit
here, ja?" He pulled me back.
    I was settled between his legs and leaned back against his
chest. His arms held me gently around my middle. "Oh, okay."
    Derek winked at me.
    I was prepared for some move or something, but nothing
happened. I drank more of my Scotch and simply relaxed in Dieter's hold. I felt
the rise and fall of his chest and drifted drowsily in the roiling bubbles of
water. I felt safe.

CHAPTER 12
     
    The workweek was entirely normal. Evelyn Error-face was
gone, moving on to another location to stomp her disapproval.
    Hotty-Totty Tina didn't act so Hotty-Totty anymore and I
regarded Ben's absence with a mixture of regret and indifference.
    If he really needed to get married, then he had to do what
he had to do. I would miss the kisses, but I respected his commitment to
Cheryl. I would miss the other stuff, too. Knowing now that I had made such a
huge prudish fuss over nothing, I felt like I had missed out. What had been fun
could've been fun before, but Ben and I only kissed for a week.
    Big deal and no big loss. I liked him and really liked what
happened when I thought I had failed. But was it a huge loss? No. The big loss
for me was the years of self-inflicted cheat-shot wounds. I was so
narrow-minded that I ignored my husband. I ignored everything he told me. The
loss was the understanding I might have had with him, even if I never kissed
anyone.
    The guilt was replaced by shame. It made me feel stupid and
like a little kid.
    My work did not suffer.
    At home on Monday, I resolved to face my barrier, if any of
it still remained. I felt it was gone, but like some demon sneaking back in,
might it have returned?
    I sat down at my husband's home office computer and booted
it up. I entered his password: e!izaBeth1975. When all that was done, I clicked
into his dirty folders. He had one marked "Favorites."
    I watched his videos. Or tried. I was on my third one when
he walked in.
    "Hey now, don't be deleting my vids."
    I smiled up at him. "I wasn't; I was watching
them."
    "What? Get out." He loosened his tie.
    "Really. Watched these two here."
    He leaned over. "Ah, you're in my favorites. Are you
going to vomit or something?"
    I laughed. "Um, no. I wanted to see what was so
exciting about these."
    "Oh?"
    "Yeah, I didn't like the first one. The guy seemed too
fake. All tanned and hair done. Yuck."
    "I liked the wife in that one."
    "Still didn't like it. The guy annoyed me. But the
second one was very nice."
    He leaned again. "Ah, yeah."
    "It's just two people, not like your others here.
What's the story on that one? Why just two people?"
    "Oh. That's the best man doing the bride a couple weeks
after the honeymoon. The husband is filming."
    I sat stunned. It had been absolutely hot, making me wet
watching it. "You're kidding."
    "Nope."
    "Wow, so that could've been Dieter filming Rolf and
Heidi…"
    He chuckled. "Heidi is almost white-blonde. I saw her
picture."
    I pouted. "I haven't."
    He waved at me. "Move and I'll