I've Been Deader by Adam Sifre Page A

will prevail. Good night, and God bless the United States of America."
    He stared confidently at the camera for a full ten seconds after the red 'on air' indicator winked out. Better safe than sorry . As if on cue, beads of perspiration peppered his forehead. Like all good politicians, Dobbs never broke a sweat in front of the cameras.
    "What the FUCK is going on?" Dobbs shouted. "I am the leader of the free world and I can't get through one god damned speech without the teleprompter going bat shit? I mean FUCK."
    He'd only been president for eighteen months, but in that short time he had managed to put on about twenty pounds and ten years. Forget zombies. Shit like this was killing him.
    One of the studio monitors was tuned in to ZNN, where Newt Rhodes, opposition leader and all-round dick, was already telling the American people why the Dobbs administration was incompetent. Adding a little more piss to his lemonade, ZNN kept the 'Zombie Alert' banner scrolling across the bottom of the screen, informing the people that for the seventy-second day in a row the zombie threat level was red.
    When a technician tried to remove the mike from inside his suit lapel Dobbs swatted the hand away. "I can do it my goddamned self, goddamn it. Al, find out who fucked up the Teleprompt and feed his ass to the zombies."
    Chief-of-staff Alfred Flint smiled, and fell into step beside the President. The opposite of Dobbs in almost every way, Flint was tall with an athletic build, youthful good looks, thick black hair with just a touch of gray at the temples, and a quiet demeanor. Dobbs hated him worse than poison. But when it came to making shit stick to his opponents, Al made Karl Rove look like Martha Stewart.
    "Excellent speech, sir."
    Dobbs scowled.
    "Don't be an ass. It shouldn't surprise me that the people of this great country fear increased taxes more than the apocalypse, but it does."
    "These are strange and uncertain times, Mr. President." Flint brushed a nonexistent piece of lint off Dobb's shoulder as they walked. "And in uncertain times people are desperate to cling to something that is familiar, even if it's taxes."
    "We can debate the psychology of the masses some other time. What's next?"
    "A briefing in the situation room. Homeland Security forwarded some video to NSA and Tom thinks you need to see it. He's waiting for us in a secure conference room down the hall."
    "Jesus," Dobbs groused. "More video of zombies eating humans or humans killing zombies? Why the fuck do I need to see more of that shit?" He didn't expect an answer, and Flint didn't disappoint him. "Thank Christ this disaster will be over soon."
    It had taken a while for the army to get its shit together but things were finally starting to break their way. The zombie virus, if it was a virus, had spread through North America like wildfire, surprising the shit out of the world, except maybe for Haiti.
    Flint interrupted the President's thoughts with a rhetorical question of his own. "Should I have the VP there?"
    "Fuck that. The less I see of that waste of space the better. Send him to the U.N. and let him blame this mess on global warming."
    The 'secure' conference room looked like a conference room, except for the gaudy presidential seal weaved into the carpet and curtains. Samuel Stone, Deputy Director of the National Security Agency, stood as they entered.
    "Sir."
    Dobbs waved him to sit. Sam was a big man, at least three hundred pounds. His bald head was always covered in a sheen of sweat despite air-conditioning, and his iron-gray mustache was so thick that Dobbs swore it moved every time Sam exhaled.
    He reminded Dobbs of a cross between Daddy Warbucks and Chumley the Walrus.
    "So what put a fire under your ass so early in the morning, Sam?"
    Sam remained standing until Dobbs was seated, and then squeezed himself into a seat across from the President. "I think it might be best for you to see for yourself, Sir. The video is less than two minutes."
    Dobbs sighed.