baby to her chest. The lady paramedic asks Lex to move out of the way so she can examine Charlie and the baby. Lex argues, but soon realizes his wife and baby need assistance.
The male paramedic is kneeling to the ground, assessing Charlie’s laceration. He turns his head to ask me what happened.
“I saw the car in the ditch and found her inside. She told me she crashed because she got a contraction.” I continue on. “I found her in the car but I couldn’t open the door. Her head was bleeding but it was a superficial cut. I asked her if she could move all her body parts and she said yes, so I gently got her through the trunk as I was paranoid the car would explode.” My heart is heavy at the thought. Someone was watching over us. “She said the baby was coming, but I could see she was blacking out so I kept talking to her to keep her conscious and then she pushed and the baby came out.”
The lady gives me a sympathetic smile. “You did well. Most people would panic in this situation. The best thing you could have done was keep her conscious.”
The paramedic cuts the umbilical cord and, with caution, they lift Charlie onto the stretcher. She cries for her baby, begging to take it with her. The paramedics explain to her that they need to get to the hospital and make sure both she and the baby are fine; they need to be under observation for the next forty-eight hours.
I watch Lex, distraught as he clutches for Charlie’s hand and reassures her everything is going to be fine.
And this moment becomes the hardest part, the moment my heart bleeds again. The moment I am tortured by my inability to control my emotions, to find any part of me worth the air I am breathing.
The weak smile on my face, a mask I wear, pretending that everything will be okay.
She will be okay with her family.
I will be okay on my own.
They are walking up the hill, but Lex turns to face me; I wait for his questions.
There are no words, just a look of anguish before he turns back around and climbs into the ambulance with Charlie.
I watch them drive away, and on the side of the road, in the dark night, my tears fall down and I drop to my knees.
It’s officially over.
Chapter 11
I have no idea how I made it home. I’m paralyzed with that numbing feeling, the one that acts like a shield, erasing tonight’s events, tonight’s nightmare. The fear and terror of watching Charlie almost die in front of my eyes was replaying in my head, then that confusing thought of ‘what if I didn’t go to see her?’ Did this wrong move make it right? Screw the fate bullshit, someone was watching over Charlie. She had angels swarming over her like paparazzi, and so it should be. If anyone deserved to stay on this earth, it was Charlie.
Me…I was scum in the lowest form. I didn’t deserve anything, especially Charlie.
As I turn the key to my apartment, I hear voices. I don’t need this, not now . All I want to do is head straight to the shower and then to bed, leaving Tristan to his own devices.
Walking through the apartment, I see Tristan sitting on the couch with a familiar blonde. They are laughing and enjoying pizza and beer. He sees me and his expression changes. Concern, pity—yeah, I’m worthless. Kill me now.
“You look like shit, but hey, meet Claudia.” Tristan introduces the familiar-looking blonde with very big tits.
Very, very big tits. No fucking way!
She looks at me, puzzled, then it clicks. “ Julian?”
I muster up the tiniest of smiles, and I mean it’s not even a smile, more like a ‘this is awkward’ glare. I really don’t need this shit right now.
“How do you know each other?” Tristan asks suspiciously.
I have no excuse; I’m too exhausted to even comprehend my actions. “Uh…we met at a bar. Listen, nice seeing you again. I’m beat, see you in the morning, Tristan.” I don’t even wait for a reaction before I head to the shower where I stand there stagnant, no emotion, nothing but
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley