Just You by Jane Lark

sense into her. “I’m not gonna be your dirty secret. We’re together and everyone knows it, or we’re not. Why the fuck did you lie to Becky like that?”
    “I…” She didn’t have an answer; ‘cause there was no answer. “I’m sorry.”
    “That’s okay, Portia, ‘cause I’m done, thanks for breaking the glass.”
    I let her go and walked past her.
    She didn’t come back to her desk for about fifteen minutes. I didn’t look at her when she did.
    She was nothing to do with me anymore.

Chapter Eight
    My bed felt cold. I looked up at the skylight. There was a full moon shining a square of silver light on my pillow. I remembered watching Justin making love to me, shrouded in it.
    I couldn’t believe he’d ended it.
    It had been a week and I still hadn’t got over the way he’d just cut the cord binding us together. He wasn’t speaking to me.
    He never even looked at me at work, though he was more playful with Becky and Crystal, like he was trying to annoy me. Or maybe he’d always been that nice and it was only now I really knew him, I saw what I’d been missing.
    He never answered my texts either.
    I’d tried calling his cell, he just cut me off. I’d left about three dozen messages before I gave up trying.
    He wouldn’t let me apologize.
    I’d tried twice at work too, catching him on his own. But he still ignored me. I’d given up entirely then.
    But it hurt.
    And I knew I’d hurt him, but I hadn’t meant to. I hadn’t realized how much he wanted people to know. I mean, he’d talked about it, but I didn’t know he was pissed off over it… Obviously he had been.
    I rolled onto my side, pulled the comforter up to my chin, curling up and hugging my knees. I ached for him. I’d never ached for Daniel. And it was a literal ache, it was in my palms and fingers; the soles of my feet and my toes. My belly and chest felt bruised–and my heart… My heart felt as though it had been kicked.
    Tears rolled onto my pillow like they’d done every night since the glass had broken between us–fairytale shattered into reality.
    I was bored and lonely again–and empty. I missed him so much. But I wasn’t going to beg him to forgive me.
    I don’t know when I fell asleep but I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up, it was daylight. I looked at my clock. It flashed seven a.m. I stretched and sadness hit me like a brick smashing into my head. Why wouldn’t he speak to me? If he’d speak to me, maybe he’d forgive me. I’d just made a mistake, it wasn’t so bad.
    I got up, washed and dressed–dead inside, my heart heavy.
    My cell rang, Counting Stars .
    I longed to see Justin’s name when I picked it up, but it was Dad’s.
    I tapped the accept button. “Dad…”
    “Portia. We’re in town, honey, we thought we’d come to New York for a weekend shopping, we can meet up.” Of course they hadn’t come to see me. No. They’d come to shop, and I was simply conveniently here. Like any other associate.
    My stomach tied in a knot. Seeing my parents was hell.
    “Yeah, okay, when?” There was no enthusiasm in my voice.
    “Tomorrow, Friday evening, at six.”
    Panic hit my chest with a punch. “Okay.”
    “I’ll text you the address of our hotel.”
    “Okay.”
    “Goodbye.”
    “Goodbye.”
    They couldn’t even be bothered to see me today– tomorrow . They couldn’t even be bothered to come out to me– our hotel . They’d been to my place once, and turned around and walked straight back out in five minutes.
    Nothing changed.
    Except–since New Year’s–I’d had Justin and I’d been happy for a while.
    Well that was over and this was reality. I’d got sucked into the Disney myth again, that was all, things weren’t different–and happy endings were fiction.
    I washed and dressed for work, scraped my hair back into a ponytail, then gave myself a condescending look in the mirror. “Queen of mess-up.”
    Anxiety was rocking inside me like the ocean swelling as I caught the