Kiss My Name by Calvin Wade

his kids were getting for Christmas. When he knew everyone else was too busy gabbing to notice, he ran his hand between my knee and my thigh, a couple of times, to see how I responded. The first time I thought he may have done it by accident, but when he did it again, I just realised he was just a drunken, dirty pervert.
    “You live alone, don’t you, Zara?” he asked me with a disturbingly creepy smile.
    I looked over at Flo to see if she would notice I needed help, but she was too busy stuffing her face with tomato garlic bread to notice initially. When she did catch my eye, I discreetly pointed at Mr.Brazier and mouthed ‘Perv’.
    She nodded and mouthed back, ‘Wanker’, and did the wanker sign too. Mr.Brazier was too drunk to notice, all he was concentrating on was me.
    “Zara?” he asked.
    “What?” I answered a little frostily.
    “You live alone, don’t you, Zara?” he repeated.
    “Why?”
    “I’m looking for somewhere to crash tonight and was thinking if I stopped at yours it could be mutually beneficial.”
    “It could be what?”
    “Mutually beneficial.”
    “What’s that mean?”
    “Good for us both.”
    “Oh, right. I’m staying at my Mum’s tonight,” I lied.
    Mr.Brazier had the cheek to run his hand up my leg again. This time he took it high enough to reach the elastic on my new Victoria’s Secret knickers which had cost me a bloody fortune. He didn’t remove it either, just left it there suggestively.
    “Maybe you want to ring your Mum and tell her that you’ve had a change of heart. I’ll be looking for a new Assistant Manager in the New Year and this might be the perfect opportunity to talk it through.”
    I gave him a look. Not a ‘that would be lovely’ look either. More of a ‘I’m going to slap your ugly, wrinkled face in a minute’ look. I was used to dealing with groping men though. I discreetly whispered into his ear.
    “Mr.Brazier, I’d take your hand off my new knickers or your garlic dough balls won’t be the only balls you’ll be eating for your starters.”
    “Come off it, Zara, you love it! You don’t wear a dress as short as yours unless you want to attract male attention.”
    “Male attention, maybe. Attention from an old fossil like you? No, thank you. I’d rather crap in my own hands and clap.”
    “Old fossil! I’m thirty seven!”
    “Exactly. Old fossil. Take your hand off my knickers now please, Mr.Brazier. I’m quite happy to cause a scene and I’m also quite happy to ring Head Office first thing on Monday morning. I’m sure they would take a sexual harassment complaint very seriously.”
    “Bloody hell, Zara, lighten up! Where’s your sense of humour? I was only winding you up, love. Come on, it’s Christmas!”
    “Flo,” I shouted over, “I need to go to the loo. Will you come with me, please?”
    Flo and I went to the toilet and when we came back, we swopped seats. He wouldn’t dare make a move on her. Mr.Brazier was not completely deterred though. He just moved his attention to poor Sylvia Gregson. Sylvia had had a tough time, her husband had left her for a younger woman during the summer and with three teenage kids, she didn’t get out much. Sylvia, bless her, was probably a little flattered by the male attention, even if it was only Mr.Brazier. Later, when we were at Applejax’s, she was bouncing up and down on his lap like a cowgirl at a rodeo. God, I hope I’m never that desperate.
    Mr.Brazier did not make sexual advances towards me again after that Christmas night out and not surprisingly, I wasn’t shortlisted for the Assistant Manager’s role either. Sylvia Gregson was handed that position. A reward for services rendered . Mr.Brazier did, however, take great pleasure in making my romantic life difficult. If any of my boyfriends ever came into Penny Pinchers to meet me, either for lunch or after work, he’d always make some sort of snide comment. The most regular one was,
    “Oh, yet another new bloke to stir the