Knights of the Kitchen Table by Jon Scieszka

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    Registered Offices: Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R ORL, England
     
    First published in the United States of America by Viking Penguin,
a division of Penguin Books USA Inc., 1991
Published by Puffin Books, 1993
This edition published by Puffin Books, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2006
10
     
Text copyright © Jon Scieszka, 1991 Illustrations copyright © Lane Smith, 1991
     
    All rights reserved
     
    THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HAS CATALOGED THE PREVIOUS PUFFIN BOOKS EDITION AS FOLLOWS:
Scieszka, Jon.
Knights of the kitchen table / by Jon Scieszka; illustrated by Lane Smith.
p. cm.—(The Time warp trio)
Summary: When Joe, Fred, and Sam are sent back in time by a magic book,
they find themselves face-to-face with giants, dragons, wizards,
and the Knights of the Round Table.
    eISBN : 978-1-101-07702-3
    [1. Time travel—Fiction. 2. Knights and knighthood-Fiction. 3. Humorous stories.]
I. Smith, Lane, ill. II. Title. III. Series. IV. Series: Scieszka, Jon. Time warp trio.
PZ7.S41267Kn 1993 [Fic]—dc20 92-44475 CIP AC
     

     
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For Casey

ONE
    Halt, vile knaves. Prepare to die.”
    “Is he talking to us?” asked Fred.
    I looked around the small clearing. A dirt path went from one end to the other. Fred, Sam, and I stood at one end. A large guy on a black horse stood at the other. He was dressed from head to toe in black armor like you see in those books about knights and castles.
    “I don’t see any other vile knaves around,” I said.
    Sam cleaned his glasses on his T-shirt and took another look at the end of the path. “Yes, there is a Black Knight down there.”
    The sun glinted off a very real, and very sharp-looking sword hanging from the Black Knight’s side.
    “And, yes, he looks like he’s planning to hurt us,” added Sam.
    “Hey, it’s not my fault,” I said. “I told Fred not to open it.”
    “You did not,” said Fred.
    “Did, too.”
    “Did not.”
    “Did, too.”
    “Excuse me, guys,” said Sam. “Can we discuss this later? I think that large angry man in the black can is getting ready to kill us now.”
    The Black Knight lowered his lance and set his shield in front of him.
    “Um ... Hello there, Mr. Knight, sir,” I called across the clearing. “My name is Joe. My friends and I seem to have lost our way from my birthday party. If you could just take us to the nearest phone—”

    “None shall pass,” boomed the Black Knight.
    “If you could just point the way toward New York we’ll be on our way and—”
    “None shall pass!”
    “I think I heard that somewhere before,” said Sam.
    “Thy tongue and garb art passing strange. Methinks thy band hails not from this shore.”

    “What did he say?” asked Fred.
    “He said we look funny, and we’re probably not from around here,” I said. “And right you are, Sir Knight,” I called across the clearing (I threw in