Learning to Breathe by J. C. McClean

sneered. “Have either of you considered my opinion at all?”
    My mother reached out to touch my arm but I flinched away. I could see the hurt in her eyes but I was too irate to care.
    “Darcie,” she began soothingly, “you’re gonna have to face your fear sometime. I know it won’t be easy but I know you can do it … it’s for the best.”
    “Do I even get a choice in this?” I asked angrily.
    Ms Greenly shook her head. “You know my policy and the only way to be excused from it is with a doctor’s note.”
    My mother jumped in then. “And don’t even think you’re getting out of it that way – it’s not a medical condition.”
    I decided to switch my tactic to the only one left – desperation. “Please Mum, don’t make me do this. You know I can’t.”
    She shook her head sadly. “No Darcie, it’s time. If this is the only way that I’m gonna get through to you then so be it. You refuse to get help so this is my last option. Please try for me – and if not for me then for him. You know he wouldn’t want you to -”
    “No!” I interrupted and threw her a death glare. “You’ve no right to say that! You know what I went through and I’m not doing it!” And with that I stormed out of the office and ran the whole way to the leisure centre.
     
    I arrived at the leisure centre sweaty and exhausted. As soon as I was inside, I decided to make my way to the toilets as I figured I needed to clean myself up before I went anywhere near the Youth Club.
    However, on my way to the Ladies’, I had the great misfortune of walking straight into Danny.
    “Darcie!” he exclaimed in surprise, looking rather pleased to see me. However, the longer he took in my appearance, the more his expression changed to one of concern. “Wow, are you okay?”
    I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak – the last thing I wanted was to have an emotional breakdown in front of him. He seemed to understand my reluctance to talk since he merely nodded, took my hand and led me through to the employee locker room.
    “Here, sit down – I’ll get you something to drink.”
    I took a seat on the wooden bench and tried to compose myself before Danny came back.
    Two minutes later and Danny returned with a bottle of water and a chocolate bar. He handed me both and ordered me to eat the chocolate bar first. I did as he instructed and then took a sip of water while Danny watched me closely. Within a few minutes I was starting to feel a lot calmer but also embarrassed.
    I took a deep brea th before I even dared to speak. “Thanks.” I eventually managed to mumble to Danny.
    H e shrugged. “No problem – what’re friends for? Are you okay now?”
    I nodded. “I think so but I’d feel even better if I could clean myself up.”
    Da nny nodded. “Go ahead, I’ll wait here.”
    I gave him a weak smile and made my way through to the toilets that were connected to the locker room.
    I glanced in the mirror above the sinks and found that my hair was all over the place, my face was beetroot red and my cheeks were sticky from sweat and tears. It was now that I was able to think clearly about what had happened. Even in my present state of clarity, I still couldn’t believe the plan my mother had concocted.
    What she was asking of me was too much – s he didn’t understand how hard it was for me to get through a normal day never mind trying to overcome my fear of water. It was also a low blow when she had mentioned – no, now is not the time to think about that!
    That said, s he knew that I was still struggling with what had happened. I felt sick when I thought of how much I had enjoyed our day together yesterday.
    She must have done it to butter me up before she dropped the bombshell!
    I shook away these thoughts as I splashed some water on my face and fixed my hair. At least now I looked presentable – well as much as one can after what I had endured – and considering how rough I had looked five minutes ago, it was a vast