Letters Home by Rebecca Brooke Page A

to the deployment area and the first person I saw was Colin. Nate walked up and pulled him into a guy hug.
    “You ready to be stuck with me twenty-four seven for the next three months?” Nate joked.
    Colin punched him in the arm. “Only if you promise not to try and cuddle up next to me in your sleep, thinking I’m her,” Colin said, pointing to me. He turned then and wrapped me in a tight hug. “How you holding up?”
    I shrugged, trying to not let Nate see how much this was affecting me. “It is what it is.”
    He bent down and whispered in my ear, “He’s hiding it well, but he’s as upset as you are.”
    It was Nate’s turn to punch Colin. “Get your lips off of my wife’s ear.”
    Their banter gave me a brief reprieve from thinking and while it was welcome, it was short-lived. Seeing all of the men in their uniforms, it was kind of hard to forget why we were there. I watched Nate for a minute to see what Colin was talking about. Everything in his face said that this was part of his job and he was going to do it well. But I knew him. I could see something else in his eyes. It was just like Nate to keep his feelings from me if he knew they would upset me. But he was wrong. Knowing this was hurting him just as much as it was hurting me didn’t make me feel worse—it actually made me feel less alone.
    A few minutes later the men started to line up. That’s when Nate turned to me, and I could no longer hold back my tears. They flowed freely down my face. Nate cupped my cheeks with his hands and used his thumbs to wipe them away. “Dani, please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.”
    “I can’t help it. I don’t want you to leave.”
    “I know, but I promise it’ll be over before you know it.”
    I nodded. “But I can’t help the tears. You better get used to it now you’re stuck with me forever.”
    He bent down and covered my mouth with his and without a second’s hesitation, I opened, letting his tongue slip inside, using that time to savor the taste of him, holding onto the memories that would keep me warm for the next few months. When he pulled away we were both breathless, yet his eyes focused on me with such intensity. “Dani, I love you so much.”
    “I love you too.” I blinked back the moisture trying to escape my eyes.
    “I promise to call you as soon as I can.”
    “I know you will.” My soft crying quickly turned to sobs.
    Nate pulled me roughly into his arms, holding me tight, giving me a moment to cry. I did everything I could to pull myself together. This was not what Nate needed right now. Bending down he whispered in my ear, “I’ll miss you with everything in me. Think about me and know that I’ll be thinking about you.”
    I nodded, unable to speak without getting myself worked up again. Slowly, Nate pulled back and bent down to pick up his bag. “Bye, sweetheart.”
    “Bye, honey. I love you so much.”
    “I love you too.” He winked at me and walked over to join the rest of the troops. Watching him walk away was a struggle. Because although I was proud of him and his sense of duty, that didn’t mean I was going to miss him any less.
    The benches were cool when I sat down, surprising considering the summer weather. The men lined up and listened to the speech given by their commanding officer. Time had stopped rushing by and seemed to slow down to an agonizing crawl–now that I’d brought Nate here, I wanted him to get this deployment started so that he could come home sooner.
    When it was time for the men to load into vehicles to be taken to their flight the vice in my chest tightened even further, and while I stood there waving to the buses the skin around my eyes tightened, the breeze drying the tears I was unable to stop myself from crying.
    It seemed silly because this was the life I’d chosen. Maybe if we hadn’t just gotten married things would be different. I doubted it. It didn’t help that this was the first time since that first deployment that I’d