Letters Home by Rebecca Brooke Page B

been there to see him off, absent from all the others because I’d been away at school. Nate would usually visit me the week before and we’d say our goodbyes in private. There was something decidedly different between knowing he was leaving, and watching him do it. This was something that I was going to have to learn to deal with.
    So while I walked back to my car, alone, I did my best to hold my head up and think about how much worse this could be. Nate could be getting deployed for a year or more. Really, three months was no time. I could do this. I had to. But the minute the car door closed, I lost it. Huge sobs racked my body and I let them go, knowing that the harder I tried to keep them bottled up the worst I’d feel. After a few minutes I was able to calm down enough to drive myself home, and by the time I pulled into the driveway I’d stopped crying.
    After about an hour at home by myself I decided to head into the office. Even though they had given me the day off, there had to be something I could work on. It would keep me busy and give me something else to focus on, besides counting the days on the calendar. The idea wasn’t as ridiculous as I’d originally thought because when I got there, Tina was not surprised to see me.
    “I should tell you to go home but I know that’s pointless, so here’s some more information on the mother,” she said, handing me a thick folder.
    “Thanks, Tina,” I said, and taking the folder back to my office, I went to work.
    I kept myself buried under paperwork for the next week. It was late when I’d get home at night, leaving me just enough time to eat dinner and check my email before going to bed. Nate always emailed me once he got settled. That first email would usually let me know when he would have a chance to call too. When I hadn’t heard anything by Tuesday of the next week, I started to get frustrated. It was rare to go this long without hearing from him. Each day when I got home from work, I hoped to find a message in my inbox and when I finally received a message from Nate saying that he’d be calling the next night around eleven, the butterflies in my stomach went crazy. It seemed like forever since I’d heard his voice and the idea that I’d get to see him on Skype too…that was everything .
    That night I went to bed and tossed and turned for most of the night. My whole body was full of jitters. The next day I went to the office and threw myself into my work just like I’d done every day since Nate left, but it was harder than I thought it would be to keep focused. I had so much on my plate yet my eyes continued to stray to the clock, willing it to move faster. Unfortunately, it didn’t want to cooperate. Since Nate wasn’t calling until late, I decided to stay at work late. No need to go home and sit in an empty house and stare at the clock.
    Reaching a good point to take a break I put away the files and headed home. There were still a few hours until Nate called so I tried to keep busy. With adrenaline coursing through me I cleaned the bathroom, living room, and scrubbed the kitchen floors to a shine. Feeling pretty dirty after all of that, I looked at the clock for probably the twentieth time since I got home and realized that I had enough time for a shower—although I still raced through it in case Nate called early. I rushed to get dressed and get comfortable on the couch with my laptop open. The length of time we could spend talking was never set in stone, always varying. Usually at the beginning of the deployment time was shorter because everyone wanted to call their families. As the deployment continued the calls were spaced out so each soldier could spend more time on the phone.
    About fifteen minutes later the call came through. When the call connected, I breathed a sigh of relief. It felt like the weight on my chest had been lifted a bit. I knew that feeling would end when the call was disconnected, but I was going to bask in it while I