Like a Lover by Jay Northcote

the neediness in his
tone, but his dignity was a small price to pay for more time with Josh. Rupert
knew he wasn’t behaving rationally. Josh was like a drug, making him desperate,
craving for more.
    Josh’s
expression was still tense, but the frown lifted a little. “It’s short notice
to book the hotel, but I could phone them, I suppose.”
    “You can
come to mine… I mean, if you want. It would save you the cost of the room.” He
waited, tension rising as Josh bit his lip. Josh’s tongue peeked out to worry
at the silver ring.
    “Okay,”
Josh finally said.
    Rupert let
out a shaky sigh of relief, a huge grin spreading across his face. “Cool.”
    A gust of
wind sent one of Rupert’s curls tumbling across his cheek, and he tucked it
behind his ear. Josh smiled back at him, but he still looked uncertain. Rupert
hoped Josh didn’t think he was some creepy stalker. He didn’t want to make Josh
uncomfortable, but he wanted to be with him, any way he could.
     
     
    Rupert
unlocked the door to his flat and guided Josh in.
    Josh
whistled. “Nice place. Is this all yours?”
    “Yeah.”
Rupert felt an uncomfortable mix of pride and guilt. His flat was the first
place he’d owned, and he loved it. Thanks to his father’s legacy, he didn’t
even have a mortgage. He was very aware that to Josh, owning a flat like this
must make Rupert seem incredibly privileged. It wasn’t too
ostentatious—he could easily have afforded somewhere larger—but it
was luxurious. On the top floor of a new build overlooking the harbour, it had
two bedrooms and a large open-plan living area.
    “It’s so
cool. One day I want to live somewhere like this.” Josh’s enthusiasm was
obviously genuine, and Rupert relaxed a little. “Can I go outside?” Josh went
over to the double doors that opened onto the roof garden.
    “Of
course.” Rupert followed him out on the decking. It was only a small space but
had a great view.
    Josh turned
and smiled at him, leaning back against the railings. “You’re so lucky.” Then
his face fell. “I mean… to live here. But shit, I’m sorry. I know it’s because
of your dad, so that was really insensitive—”
    Rupert
moved a step closer. “It’s okay.” He put his hand on Josh’s cheek. “I know what
you meant.” He kissed Josh’s forehead. “Are you hungry?”
    “Yes.”
    “Okay, let
me go and see what I can rustle up.”
    “Want any
help?”
    “I’m not
sure yet. Depends what I’ve got ingredients for.”
    Rupert got
them both drinks first. Forgoing the bottle of red wine he’d normally have
opened on a Saturday night, he had sparkling water with Josh. “Sorry I don’t
have any lime,” he said as he passed the glass to Josh. “If I’d known you were
coming, I’d have got some.”
    “No
worries. Cheers.” Josh raised his glass, and they clinked them together.
    Rupert
rummaged around in the fridge and found he had enough ingredients to throw
together a stir-fry. He was out of noodles, but he had rice. He set Josh to
work chopping onions, peppers, and mushrooms while he put the water on to heat
for the rice and sliced a steak into thin strips.
    The sight
of Josh in his kitchen, helping him cook, made Rupert feel warm inside. It was
so domestic, and it felt utterly right in a way that was equal parts exciting
and terrifying.
    He’s only here because I’m paying him , Rupert reminded himself.
    But Josh
had met him for lunch earlier and spent the afternoon with him. Maybe
eventually he could persuade Josh to date him for real? That didn’t seem like
such a complete impossibility after the day they’d just spent together.
    They ate
out on the roof garden, enjoying the last of the evening sunshine before the
sun dropped out of sight. The warmth of the day had gone. Josh began to shiver
in his thin T-shirt, so Rupert excused himself and returned with a hoodie,
which he offered to Josh.
    “Thanks.”
Josh took it gratefully and pulled it on, zipping it up and even pulling