Lisa Lutz Spellman Series E-Book Box Set: The Spellman Files, Curse of the Spellmans, Revenge of the Spellmans, The Spellmans Strike Again by Lisa Lutz

realizing what I would do with the information, provided me with Zack’s home address and birth date. From that, I acquired a Social Security number and was able to run a credit check, criminal history (only in the state of California), and property search. On paper Zack Greenberg was clean and impressive. I pulled his birth record and ran further checks on his parents, two brothers, and one sister. Aside from his youngest brother’s Chapter 11 filing in 1996, the entire family was like a fifties sitcom. It was not until Petra told me that Zack didn’t own a TV that I agreed to the date. The equation seemed simple. No TV = No Porn. Sure, he could have a solid magazine collection and an Internet habit, but a real addict would be a film buff, too.
    Our first few dates were a bit dull, possibly because he was going over material I already knew. His parents ran a bakery in Carmel. His sister was a homemaker with 1.8 children (pregnant). His older brother owned a successful family restaurant in Eugene, Oregon. His younger brother owned an unsuccessful used-book store in Portland. By all the evidence presented to me, Ex-boyfriend #7 was a Boy Scout from a long line of Boy Scouts (who occasionally earned the bankruptcy badge). Having never dated a man who had the courage to order wine coolers at happy hour, I was initially intrigued by his milquetoast ways.
    On our first date we went to the Castro Theatre and saw a revival of The Philadelphia Story, followed by cappuccinos and a stroll through Dolores Park, where a number of youngsters offered us drugs. Zack responded to the solicitations with a polite “No, thank you,” as if he were turning down the product from a makeshift lemonade stand. Our second date consisted of an hour of arcade games (mostly skeeball), ice cream, and a brief soccer lesson, which ended with Zack on my couch, his shin packed in ice and me apologizing profusely. The relationship continued on in its quasi–Norman Rockwell fashion until I mentioned his brother’s bankruptcy (don’t ask) and Zack realized that he had never mentioned it.
    Petra told me she would never set me up with anyone again until I “learned to use my powers for good and not evil.” My mother, who had met Zack and promptly begun daydreaming about a wedding, didn’t speak to me for three days. My father offered to pay for a video dating service, then laughed himself silly at that prospect. I, not so politely, declined.

CAMP WINNEMANCHA
    L ast fall, when Rae returned to school after summer break, she was assigned the customary five-hundred-word What I Did on My Summer Vacation paper for Mrs. Clyde’s eighth grade English class. Instead of writing an essay, Rae (now twelve and a half) turned in a copy of the Merck Investments surveillance report with all the sensitive information redacted. Upon receipt of Rae’s assignment, Mrs. Clyde without delay invited my mother and father for a parent-teacher conference and firmly suggested that next summer Rae go to sleepaway camp.
    The following spring, when Rae was thirteen years old, Mrs. Clyde reinvited my parents for a follow-up parent-teacher conference and repeated her original suggestion with as much influence as she could marshal. My mother countered with an offer of swimming lessons and a dance class, but Mrs. Clyde held her ground, insisting that Rae needed to begin socializing more with her peers and participating in activities suitable for a girl her age. My mother made all the camp (said in a whisper) arrangements surreptitiously. She chose the setting, paid the tuition, and purchased most of the packing list, all the while remaining undetected. She and my father decided to wait until just one week before Rae’s departure date to reveal her summer plans.
    Mom broke the news to my sister Saturday morning at exactly 7:15. I know this because Rae’s Greek-tragedy wails woke me out of a much-needed slumber. Her desperate protests continued throughout the morning and into the early