Little Croker by Joe O'Brien

disco.
    ‘We’re not here to dance, ye muppet!’ laughed Danny.
    Splinter put his hand on Jonathon’s shoulder.
    ‘Look around the room and tell me what you see,’ he said.
    ‘Girls?’
    ‘Correct!’ said Splinter. ‘Do you seriously think that I’m going to waste my time bopping around the dancefloor when I could be putting my chat-up lines into action? Follow me, boys!’ instructed Splinter and he led the way with Danny and Jonathon in stitches behind him.
    Splinter’s chat-up lines didn’t turn out to be as good as he thought; after the reaction he got from the girls, Danny and Jonathon didn’t even bother trying to talk to any of them!
    ‘Come on and we’ll get a bag of chips, lads,’ suggested Danny. He was getting fed up.
    ‘Fair enough,’ agreed Splinter. ‘There’s a chipper up the road.’
    * * *
    On the way to the chipper the three lads were fooling around, pushing each other and laughing . Jonathon gave Danny a friendly shove, and he slipped over onto the grass at the side of the road.
    ‘I’m after falling on something wet – if it’s something disgusting I’ll kill yiz!’ warned Danny.
    It wasn’t anything disgusting – it was a plastic bag, and it was heavy. Danny opened it and showed the contents to his pals.
    Jonathon put his hands up to his mouth in shock.
    Splinter’s reaction was a little less discreet.
    ‘There must be thousands there!’ he screeched at the top of his voice. ‘Nice one, Danny!’ celebrated Splinter, clapping his hands like a seal at feeding time in the zoo.
    ‘We can’t keep that!’ insisted Jonathon.
    ‘Finders keepers, losers weepers!’ quoted Splinter.
    Danny closed the bag.
    ‘Jonathon’s right, Splinter,’ said Danny. ‘We’ll have to hand it over.’
    Splinter was gutted. In that wonderful moment of madness he had already picked out his new football boots and about ten other things he would buy.
    ‘We’ll give it to your dad when we get back from the chipper,’ said Jonathon to Splinter. ‘He can bring it to a Garda station.’ 
    Danny stuffed the bag of money under his jacket and they continued their journey up the road for their chips.
    Outside the chipper, almost as if it was meant to be, there was a Garda car and inside it sat a huge Garda eating a battered sausage.
    ‘Look, lads,’ said Danny, and he stopped in his tracks. ‘Will we give the bag to him?’
    Jonathon instantly agreed.
    Splinter wasn’t too sure.
    ‘I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, lads. He looks like a bit like Shrek!’
    ‘I’m going to hand it over to him. Come on!’ said Danny.
    Just as Danny banged on the window, Jonathon’s phone started ringing. It was Regina. The Garda was rolling down his window, and Splinter and Danny were explaining in loud, excited voices about what they’d found.
    Jonathon knew that he had to answer his phone or his mother would get suspicious. But what if she heard Danny and recognised his voice?
    Jonathon moved away from the noise.
    ‘Hi, Mum!’ greeted Jonathon. ‘I’m fine! … noise?’ Jonathon laughed. ‘It’s just a few of Sebastian’s friends. We’re having wrestling matches in the bedroom. … We won’t break anything! … I’ll ring you in the morning, Mum … OK … you too … Bye.’
    Phew!
    Jonathon returned to his friends and the Garda – he’d missed all the excitement of telling him about finding the bag! Apparently it had been stolen from the Kimuldridge old folks’ fund-raising day a couple of days previously; the Crokes boys were only a few hours in Kimuldridge and already they were heroes.
    The woman who owned the chipper came out to see what all the excitement was about, and when she heard they’d found the money, she gave them batter burgers, chips and drinks on the house. Danny, Splinter and Jonathon munched their way back to the hotel to tell everyone about their triumph!

Chapter 19
The Friendly Match
    T he next day, even though nobody believed a word they were saying,