Little Light of Mine (Club Decadence) by Maddie Taylor Page A

The Club so it would not extend to their personal lives. 
    “You mean you would see other women, while we’re contracted.”  She was surprised at the even tone of her voice.  Inside she was crushed; he was so cold and methodical.  She cried inside , Mi Amo r , what have I done to you?
    “Yes , and of course, you are free to see other men.”
    That stung even more.  It didn’t bother him if she had sex with other men.  Never in their time together had he even considered sharing.  Although there was no exclusivity clause, Elena was desperate enough to agree to anything to get the chance to be with him again.   How pathetic was that?  But she was frozen, her life contained no intimacy.  While she had friendships , they were casual and didn’t seem to soothe the growing need inside her.  Maybe, by entering into a contract with Dex who was familiar to her, she could break through some of the ice that surrounded her heart and she could finally move on.
    She had tried to play with other men but she was unable to respond.  In fact, she hadn’t had sex since the assault.  She just couldn’t.  The intimate touch of a man made her cringe and shut down.  She had gone to a few public clubs while out in California but ended up crying her safeword before they could even get her to strip.  She didn’t know what pictures Dex had seen, but she suspected the investigator hadn’t stuck around to hear her cry her safeword and leave after only a few strokes of the flogger.
    Of course, she hadn’t been able to find another Dom like Dex.  She knew their relationship had been special because of their love, trust and commitment.   And no one could come close to his inherent qualities of authority, control, and domination.  She didn’t think she would ever find someone she could trust as much to meet her need for the whip. 
    After the brutality of the assault, she was surprised that she still craved it.  Her counselors had told her there were several reasons she would still feel the need for the whip.  Primarily, they thought she was looking for a distraction from her emotional pain.  All she knew was that she dreamed of Dex using his single tail on her again.  He used to make her fly, bringing her out of herself to float in the endorphin high of subspace. 
    When she could no longer submit and did not have that outlet for her emotions, she had foolishly turned to the mindnumbing effects of drugs and alcohol.  Her counselors had diagnosed her with PTSD and told her she was self-medicating with drugs and alcohol to avoid the painful flashbacks to Luis’ brutal treatment, his emotional abuse and the estrangement from her family and friends.  Elena didn’t know about all that psychobabble, all she knew was that she had been seriously messed up.   
    “Elena?  Where did you go?” Dex’s voice brought her out of her musing.
    “I’m sorry, just considering your offer.”  Elena was about to do abandon all caution and go for it.  Her life was empty and she missed submitting to Dex.  If this was the only way to be with him, for whatever short time, a month, a week, one last night, then so be it.  She would deal with the consequences when the time came.    
    “Do you have any questions?” 
    She shook her head no and the next thing she knew she was signing his contract.  He wrapped up the meeting quickly after that handing her a copy of their contract along with instructions for a physical and STD screening from a BDSM friendly local physician.  She blushed when he covered the section on condom use and how there would be no play until both of them were declared clean.  Elena knew he said this for her benefit.  What must he think of her?  He knew she had been at her worst out in California, heavy into drugs and alcohol.  Now she was back, tattooed and working as a musician.  She didn’t blame him for being cautious.

 
    Chapter Eight
    Their first scene was scheduled in one of the private rooms