childrenâs books, including the Guardian Childrenâs Fiction Award, the Smarties Prize, the Red House Book Award and the Childrenâs Book of the Year. She was awarded an OBE in 2002 and was the Childrenâs Laureate for 2005-2007.
To Naomi
With many thanks
Chapter One
Do you ever have nightmares? I had such a scary dream I didnât want to go back to sleep. It was just starting to get light. I sat up in bed and looked at Mum. Her hair was spread out over the pillow.
I wish I had lovely long hair like Mum. Sometimes she lets me brush and comb it. I can do it in a funny topknot. Once I put it in plaits and Mum looked just like my sister, not my mum.
I havenât got a real sister. Or a real brother. But today I was getting two new sort-of brothers, Rory and Jake. I didnât like them much.
I was getting a stepdad too. He was called Sam. I didnât call him anything. I didnât like him at all.
I frowned at my mum. I took hold of a little clump of her hair and pulled.
âOuch! What are you up to, Lizzie?â said Mum, opening one eye.
âI was just waking you up,â I said.
âItâs too early to wake up,â said Mum, putting her arm round me. âLetâs snuggle down and have a snooze.â
âI donât want to snuggle,â I said, wriggling away. âMum, why do we have to move in with Sam?â
Mum sighed. âBecause I love him.â
â I donât love him,â I said.
âYou might one day,â said Mum.
âNever ever,â I said.
âYou wait and see,â said Mum. âI think youâre going to love being part of a big family. You and me and Sam and Rory and Jake.â
âI donât want to be a big family,â I said. âI want to be a little family. Just you and me in our own flat.â
We had fun together, Mum and me.
We went to football matches
and we shared big tubs of ice-cream and we danced to music.
Sometimes I stayed up really late and then we went to bed together. I didnât like night-time because of the bad dreams.
I dreamt about my first stepdad.
I hate stepdads. Iâve got a real dad but I donât see him now. He stopped living with us ages ago. He doesnât come to see me but I donât care any more.
My first stepdad doesnât come to see us either and Iâm very, very glad about that. He was a scary monster stepdad. He pretended to be jolly and friendly at first. He bought me heaps of presents. He even bought me a Flying Barbie. I always badly wanted a Barbie doll but Mum never bought me one. She thinks theyâre too girly. I like girly things. I loved my Flying Barbie but I didnât ever love my first stepdad, even at the beginning.
When we went to live with him he was still jolly and friendly when he was in a good mood but he started to get lots of bad moods. He started shouting at me. I tried shouting back and he smacked me. He said I got on his nerves. He certainly got on my nerves. He said he didnât like me. I didnât like him one bit.
Mum didnât like him any more either, especially when he shouted at me. We left that stepdad. We went back to being just Mum and me.
We got our own flat. It was very small and poky and the bathroom had black mould and the heating didnât work, but it didnât matter. We were safe again, Mum and me.
But then Mum met this man, Sam, in a sandwich bar. They ate lots and lots of sandwiches. Then they started going out together. Then I had to start going out with them at weekends even though I didnât want to. Samâs sons, Rory and Jake, came too. They didnât see their mum any more. They seemed to like my mum. But I didnât like their dad.
âI donât want Sam to be my stepdad,â I said. Again.
âHeâs not a bit like the last one, Lizzie, I promise,â said Mum.
I love my mum but I donât always believe her, even when she
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