Losing Her by Mariah Dietz

could think about was you. It wasn’t fair, not many can compete at your level.
    “Oh. My. God! It is you! I can’t believe it!” She laughed and tightly gripped my bicep, either trying to feel my muscles or in an attempt to turn me on. I didn’t know, and quite frankly, didn’t care. You know how you say my mind never stops? Well a flash of thoughts were brought to the forefront of my mind and I could recall her being one of the ring leaders in causing drama for Jenny when she got pregnant.
    The ugly memories made me take a step back, but she didn’t seem to notice as she continued talking. “When did you get back? Are you staying? Oh my gosh, we should totally hang out!”
    My eyes grew and my mind stopped, and began processing thoughts in a whole new direction. You were always too nice, always worrying about hurting someone’s feelings. I can be a dick and don’t have much remorse when I am, but as much as I wanted to tell her to get lost, you were right, my mom taught me better than that. I was about to lie to her when Jameson rescued me.
    “Dude, there she is!” He motioned to the front of the house, clearly not paying any attention to Heather, and I was relieved to stop.
    “Sorry, I have to go,” I briefly explained, putting my shot glass down and taking a couple of steps in the direction Jameson was headed. I wrapped my fingers halfway around his bicep to stop him from running over to you guys. You told me you knew he had a thing for Kendall the second he saw her in your backyard, but truly, I think you would be surprised to know just how far he was willing to go.
    “What are you doing? Play it cool, let her come to you,” I instructed.
    I didn’t know either of you then, but I remember watching Kendall and seeing the domineering look in her eye that was like a dare for people to not look at her. I can’t remember what she was wearing, or what her hair looked like, only that look. I barely noticed her because you were behind her, and just like you were able to do even back when you were a freshman, all of my thoughts stilled and focused on you. You were smiling at someone, and I remember the jealousy that rolled through me that I worked to ignore as I followed your attention to see who was on the receiving end. It was a chick I didn’t recognize, and even though I knew that should cause some sort of relief, it didn’t.
    I soaked in your appearance as you spoke with her. Your eyes occasionally drifting in my direction made me wonder if you could feel my stare. It would have been hard to notice; there were too many sets of eyes on you at that point. It had been three years since I had seen you when I pulled up on my motorcycle, and although I never told you this, seeing you that day beside Mindi, nervous and distracted like you were the first day we met, made me regret ever leaving. I’d been struggling to fight a downpour of thoughts about you all week.
    You were wearing those bright yellow jeans, the ones that called for my hands to rest on your ass … you know the pair. If anyone else tried wearing them I’d probably find them hideous, but you wore them like you didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought. How wrong you were.
    “That guy is totally hitting on her!”
    My attention broke to Jameson in confusion. You hadn’t moved. You were still surrounded by the same girls that had convened around you when you stepped in. Then I saw your eyes scan over a group, stopping at Kendall, and remembered why Jameson had that scowl on his face.
    It was Jimmy Carson. I’m sure you knew what she was doing, trying to bring Jameson over to her, but I didn’t know her game then. Instead, I told him, “That guy’s a douche. She won’t waste her time on him,” and slapped a hand to his shoulder. “Let’s check out who’s here. Believe me, she’ll come find you.” I swear, I thought she would. I’d seen her go out to her car each time Jameson was outside, returning his eager glances.
     
    A couple of