Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2) by Jennifer Comeaux Page B

and listened to his heartbeat slowly return to normal.
    “Maybe you should talk to the psychologist about this,” I said.
    “I doubt I can get in with her during the holidays.” He pulled back a little so he faced me. “And we don’t have time to wait for whenever I can see her. I have to do this myself. I have to keep trying to get past this.”
    How was he going to do that? By giving himself panic attacks until they hopefully stopped? I couldn’t stand seeing him in that state. But I had no idea how to help him trust himself again.

Chapter Nine
     
    We’d tried everything.
    We’d practiced the lift entrances without Josh picking me up. We’d done the lifts while stationary on the ice. We’d watched our training videos from the summer.
    Nothing had worked.
    Every time we tried to actually execute a lift, Josh backed off. He had a mental block he seemingly couldn’t overcome.
    The past few days had raised Josh’s frustration level again as he fought his internal struggle. While working through our Christmas Eve morning practice, we made another attempt at the press lift, the most basic overhead one in skating. Josh and I clasped hands, but as soon as the moment came to press me into the air, he dropped my hands and sped off the ice. I zoomed along the same path and caught up to him as he snapped on his skate guards.
    “Josh, don’t—”
    “Why can’t I do this?” he growled at himself.
    I touched his arm. “We’ll just keep trying and—”
    “I have to take a break. This is making me crazy.”
    He stormed toward the locker room, running into a trash can and kicking it aside. I was so busy watching him I didn’t notice Stephanie until she marched up to me.
    “What did you do?” she snapped. “Josh never acts like that.”
    I am SO not in the mood for this.
    “What are you doing here?” I barked. “I thought you’d be sleeping after taking the red-eye.”
    “I asked our driver to bring me down so I could see Josh.” She folded her arms over her sleek leather coat. “Since you’re hogging him until tomorrow night.”
    I slapped on my skate guards. “Now isn’t a good time.”
    “I’m going to talk to my brother.” She started for the locker room.
    “Don’t,” I yelled after her and then calmed my voice, “Please let him be. He needs a few minutes alone.”
    “What’s going on?”
    I sighed and massaged my temples. I couldn’t keep the truth from her. She was going to find out eventually, especially if Josh and I had to pull out of nationals… which was looking more likely each day we couldn’t run our full programs.
    “Josh hasn’t been able to do any of the lifts. He can’t get past what happened at Skate America.”
    She stared at me like she couldn’t process what I’d said. “He’s never been scared of anything on the ice.”
    “The accident really shook him. It’s affected him more than just physically.”
    “He’s sounded fine when I’ve talked to him. He never said there were any problems from the concussion.”
    “He didn’t want you to know he’s had a rough time. He thought he’d be fine by the time you visited, but he’s not.” I picked up my water bottle and twiddled with the cap. “He’s had a lot of anxiety and… he hasn’t been able to play the piano like he used to.”
    She gaped at me. “He forgot how to play?”
    I nodded slowly. “It’s been incredibly hard for him.”
    “What do the doctors say? I mean, he’s going to remember, right?”
    “He’s working on it, but it’s taking some time.”
    “How could he not tell me about this?” She narrowed her blue eyes. “Did you make him lie to me?”
    Of course she would automatically place the blame on me.
    “Steph?” Josh emerged from the locker room.
    Stephanie rushed over and strangled him in a hug. “You should’ve told me you were so messed up.”
    Josh looked at me over her shoulder, and I gave him my best apologetic face.
    “Is your doctor not helping you?” Stephanie