Lost Desires by Rachael Orman Page A

company, among many other little tasks, and it actually kept me pretty busy but not so busy I couldn’t take care of the kids.
    Just like every other day, I worked until I could barely keep my eyes open. I gave Ian a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m off to bed.”
    “Okay, Brit. I’ll be there in a few. I just want to finish reading this article.” Ian squeezed my hand that I had rested on his shoulder before turning his full attention back to the computer screen.
    That night , as I laid there in bed alone, again, I wondered if this was what happened to every couple. Before we’d gotten married, we’d been like rabbits. We had sex often and in as many places as we could. We pretty much continued on that way until we had our first. Then things had slowed, but we still had a great sex life. After our second was born though, it was like it just dropped off the face of the Earth. We would occasionally laugh about sexy things or flirt, but for the most part, we were more of friends than sexual partners.
    I still found him sexual ly attractive, but by the time I got into bed at the end of the night, the last thing I felt like doing was having sex. He always said he was in the mood, but rarely acted on it. I didn’t know if it was because he didn’t find me attractive anymore, or if he was just afraid I’d shut him down. With those thoughts bouncing around in my head, I tossed and turned until I finally fell into a fitful sleep.
    In the morning, I was woken up by two overly energetic kiddos. Dragging my feet, I closed the door softly behind me , since Ian was still sleeping, and then made my way to the kitchen to get them their morning glass of milk with dry cereal to snack on until I made them breakfast. Ian came out shortly after us, showered and dressed for another day at the office, offering quick kisses to everyone before he headed out to work.
    Yet again, everything was just the same as it was the day before , and the day before that. I was tired of our routine. Sure, it worked, but I wasn’t happy like this. I wanted to be excited for something in my life instead of just existing. Deciding I knew exactly what I needed, I called up my friend, Tara. She was single without any kids, but she always had something going on. I didn’t think she’d ever been bored a day in her life.
    After making plans to meet with her for lunch, I hung up and quickly rushed through getting the kids out of their jammies and into daytime clothes. I checked in with work and made sure there wasn’t anything I had to do right away before getting ready myself. I slipped on a knee length skirt that helped hide my wide thighs and hips and then pulled on a loose shirt to cover my belly and large breasts. I ran my brush quickly through my hair that fell past my shoulders before rounding up the kids, who had been jumping on the bed while I dressed. It only took us a couple of minutes to get from the house to the car and everyone buckled up. It was almost a record for us since there was always some sort of drama – forgotten items or random running around the vehicle before finally piling in.
    Once I pulled up in front of the restaurant I was meeting Tara at, I breathed in a relieved breath. No fighting had occurred, giving me a semi-peaceful, calming drive. After unbuckling the kids, we walked hand in hand up to the front where Tara was sitting on a bench waiting for us. All five foot seven of her. She had on skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt that showed off how slender she was. I was jealous of her body. I had once had a body like that, but no matter what I did, I could not lose the weight I had gained.
    “So, what is going on?” Tara blurted out as soon as we were shown to a table, not one to beat around the bush. I looked over at my kids, one on either side of the table, but they were both busy scribbling with the provided coloring pages and crayons.
    “I don’t know. I feel sort of crazy saying this. I just feel like things between Ian