Love In Alaska (The Love In 50 States Series Book 2) by Shelby Gates Page A

one person since I got divorced,” he finally said. “Even with my sister, I saw her in small doses. I haven't been with anyone continuously for this long since I left her and California. I've kept to myself. On purpose.”
    “Okay,” I said, not really understanding.
    “I did it on purpose because even though I was happy to be done with Amanda, I got burned,” he said. He ran a hand over his beard. “I didn't want to get burned again and for me, that meant doing my own thing. Keep moving, keep everyone at arm's length, that sort of thing.” He paused. “And I've gotten really, really good at that.”
    “I'm sorry,” I said, the half-eaten apple feeling heavy in my hand. “I didn't mean to encroach on that. At all. I just—”
    “No,” he said, shaking his head. “Not what I meant. I've had a really good time with you. And I wasn't lying. I liked you on the boat, but I thought it would just be cool if we hiked out here together and I showed you around. I honestly didn't have any other plans.”
    “I believe you.”
    “But then everything sort of took off,” he said. “And I don't mean I'm sorry about that. I'm not. I mean...that was amazing. You're amazing.” He paused and rubbed at his beard some more. “But I know you're leaving and I'm not quite sure what to do with that. On the one hand, I'd like you to stay a little longer. It feels like I've known you forever, you know?”
    I swallowed and nodded.
    “But I don't want to do that for a couple of reasons,” he continued. “One, it isn't fair to ask that of you. And, two, I'm pretty sure at some point, I'm gonna throw that wall back up that keeps people away.” He looked at me. “Probably even you.”
    He smiled, but it wasn't a happy one. “So even if you did stay, I couldn't guarantee you anything right now.” He laughed and shook his head. “Every time I start to think I'm through with this shit, I realize I'm still a mess.”
    I spun the apple slowly in my hand, thinking about what he'd said. I appreciated his honesty, both about me and about himself. I knew what he meant about the walls and about not guaranteeing things. It was like scar tissue that builds up and has to be broken down. I knew because I had my own. But I also felt the things he was feeling. The connection to him. The fact that I wasn't really sure I was ready to say goodbye.
    I swallowed again. But I'd made a promise to myself. As tempting as it was to hear him say he wanted me to stay, I didn't want to break that promise.
    “I can't stay, Evan,” I said softly. “This trip...I'm doing it for a whole bunch of reasons. If I stopped now, I wouldn't get out of it what I need to get out of it. I know it sounds selfish, but I have to do this trip. I'm not going to be good for anyone until I'm done with it. And I know that sounds cryptic and weird and all that, but trust me, I know.” I paused shifting my gaze to him. “But I'm not gonna lie. All night long, I laid there in the tent, thinking maybe I should stay. If you wanted me to. Because I didn't intend on finding you here.”
    “I'm not asking you to stay,” he said. “Not really. I wouldn't do that to you.”
    “Thank you,” I said. “But you should know, I've thought about it. As crazy as that sounds, I've thought about it in the last twenty-four hours. That thing you said to me? About not letting opportunities pass you by? I'm worried that this might be one of those that's getting by me.”
    He nodded slowly. “Yeah. I know.” He forced a smile. “So maybe we play it by ear. You keep me informed about your travels and I'll tell you where I'm flying to. Maybe I'll show up somewhere, surprise you.”
    I smiled. “I don't think I'd mind that at all.”
    “And when you get to the end of the road, we'll see where we're both at,” he said. “We'll just see.”
    I had a moment of guilt, not telling him what my plan was in visiting the fifty states. A small part of me felt like I owed him an explanation. I wanted