Love Is a State of Mind: Nobody's Life is Perfect by Sarah Catherine Knights

entered our vocabulary before and it hit me in the gut.  I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to face the reality of it.  God, he’d only been gone a few weeks.  What was the hurry?
    “Is she pregnant or something?” I said.
    “No, of course not … but the flat’s really small …”
    “Why didn’t you think of that, when you left?  It’s hardly my fault, is it?”
    “Look, we don’t need to even think of it yet … but as long as you know, this is something we will have to address sometime soon.  In the meantime, Anna, I need some clothes.  By the way, did Adam get off okay?”
    “Yes, no thanks to you,” I said.  “Why didn’t you insist on seeing him, before he went?”
    “I thought it was better that way … I know he’s really angry with me …”
    “Can you blame him?”
    “No, I know, but … I didn’t want to spoil his big moment.  I’ll email him and explain everything once he’s settled over there.”
    “Maybe you could email me too – I’d be fascinated to hear your ‘explanation’.”
    We looked at each other across the chasm between us.  Where had our relationship gone?  It had been wiped out … swept away on a flood tide of bitterness.
    “One day, I’ll try and explain it all to you, Anna.  I’m not sure I understand it myself at the moment.  All I know is – I had to go and I’m sorry for what it’s done to you.”  He stood up.  “Can I have a couple of black bin liners?  I realise I haven’t brought anything to carry my stuff …”
    I got up and went to the drawer where they live.  I broke off two and shoved them at him.  “Close the door on your way out,” I said and turning up the volume on the TV, I sat down next to Gaz. 
    Monkeys were grooming each other, finding fleas and eating them.  David left the room and I continued to watch, as a male monkey lorded it over a group of females.  I suddenly saw myself as one of David’s harem.  I decided I was going to have to break free – not at all easy at my age and in terms of the animal kingdom, maybe dangerous, but I was going to have to try.
     

Chapter Eight
     
    So, the summer holidays stretch in front of me.  Six weeks of freedom – to do whatever I want.  I’ve done my swim – my first bid to get fit and lose weight – now what?
    Holly has suggested I go up to London for the weekend, which I’m looking forward to, but I’ve got five days to fill, in the meantime.
    I sit up in bed – I’ve woken late on my first free weekday of the holidays – a luxury that we both used to enjoy.  I grab my mobile phone that’s sitting on the bedside table – it says it’s ten thirty – I can’t quite believe I’ve slept so long.  I feel as if I’ve been drugged, my limbs are heavy and my eyes won’t open.  The bedroom is a mess and I decide today will be the day I’ll clear out my cupboards, throw away clothes I’ve had for years and never wear any more.  Shafts of sunlight are streaking through the closed curtains and I slowly get out of bed and shuffle over to pull them.  The sunshine makes my eyes ache, the sky’s a piercing blue and I watch a magpie as it lands on next door’s willow tree.
    I realise Gaz must be crossing his legs, as it’s so late and I wander down the stairs into the silence of the hall.  There is a pile of letters on the door mat, which I ignore, and go into the kitchen.
    Gaz gets off his bed slowly and wagging his tail, he plods towards me with a hurt expression on his face as if to say, you really are letting standards slip – I’ve been starving since seven o’clock. I feel guilty as I stroke his head and reassure him silently that it won’t happen again.  I throw his unappetising dry biscuits into his bowl and place it down on the floor.  Gaz hoovers the kibble up in about twenty seconds flat and then stands at the back door, waiting to go out into the garden.  I let him out and watch him through the kitchen window, as he wanders off round the