Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) by Maria Macdonald

bit faster. “I do like control, but I also realise relationships are different, and I can’t control you. So I will take a step back, but you will have to give me time to adjust. What you need to understand, though…” He swallows and I feel my heart thump faster, somehow knowing this is important. “I lost you once, I can’t do it again. I cage you in, not because of control, but because I’m so scared that you’ll just disappear. I couldn’t…I can’t—”
    “Dane, I’m here, with you.” I cut his words off with mine and walk over to him wrapping my arms around his waist. I can see the raw pain blazing in his eyes and it hurts my heart. I don’t know if he shows his emotions to everyone, but to me, I get to see them all. What is even more apparent, is that my body automatically reacts to them, so I feel them like they’re my emotions to overcome. I have no idea what’s happening to me. I don’t know where my head is at, but it’s telling me that I’m totally out of control. For the first time in my life, I feel something, and that makes me want to sink to my knees and thank some higher being. I don’t want to lose it. But for the first time ever, I feel the anxiousness that surrounds the thoughts now swirling, telling me this won’t be forever. Dane won’t be my forever.
     

     
    I watch Nova as we gather her belongings. I told her small truths earlier. It was painful, but it needed to be said. I can’t hide anything from her, she sees it all in my eyes, just like she always could with me. I need to tell her everything, we need to talk things through, in a lot more depth than we have. But first, I have to focus on my family for a few days. My brother’s day. Tink’s day. They’re what’s important right now, and I know Nova agrees.
    I admit for the first time in my life, I was scared there was a problem I couldn’t fix when Nova said she wasn’t coming until Friday. I have no idea why my mind went straight to abstract thoughts, worried that she didn’t like someone. I felt like a weight was pressing down on me, and if that had been the truth, if she had hated one of my family then we would have been done. It hurts to even think that.
    Even though Nova has been back in my life briefly, I love her. Still. Even though she might not be my Nova anymore. I see more signs that my Elizabeth is breaking through every day. Even so, I wouldn’t ever turn my back on my family. They’ve kept me from completely living in the dark, and I owe them my life. Even if they don’t know it. When she told me I was being a dick, I was so relieved, even though we were kind of having an argument. Nobody will usually argue with me, but Nova will always tell me what she thinks. She’s never been scared of me, and I hope like hell that she never is. I also hope that she doesn’t run from me when I explain what I’ve been doing all these years. I hope she doesn’t hate me when I fill her in on the life she’s forgotten. I hope like hell I can win her back. Most of all, I hope I can find her. Find the real her, because this person she’s being, this isn’t all her. I can see under her surface, it’s like the real Nova is trying to get out. She’s feistier, dirtier, and stronger. And I’m going to fucking bring her back. Then I’m never going to let her go again.
     

     
    I say nothing as we walk into the hotel. Watching the staff eye fuck Dane then look at me like I’m not worthy is something that sadly, even after only a couple of days, I have gotten used to. He does nothing, but make me feel completely secure. Which is weird, as we seemed to go into fully exclusive mode after the first night. Without even having a conversation. We’ve been here since yesterday and the wedding is tomorrow. Every day we sneak out for lunch, just the two of us. It’s nice, and strangely it’s comfortable like we’ve been doing it for years. I’ve asked Dane if that’s normal, but seeing as he hasn’t had a