Love & The Goddess by Mary Elizabeth Coen Page B

he called them. He seems very busy and content that we have a friendship, neither of us has hinted at meeting up. I like the fact that I have made a platonic friend. At least I have
something real after the other eejits I’ve met.”
    Ella shook her head at me, blue eyes incredulous.
    “What?” I aked.
    “He doesn’t look like the platonic type. I know I’d certainly like more from him than that. But each to their own, I suppose,” Ella said.
    I laughed, moving the mouse to the next picture. “And this is the flute I met today. Calls himself ‘the diver’. Knows how to dive in on a plate of food after saying he
wasn’t hungry and didn’t order anything.”
    “Did he pay or go dutch?”
    “Neither. Disappeared before the bill arrived.”
    Ella read through his email and studied the accompanying profile, grimacing at the photo. “He’s a messer all right. I should have realised when you rang – I met him two years
ago, when I first started dating. He was on another site, calling himself something different, but the photo’s the same. I just met him for coffee but he had a big sob story about not having
had sex with his wife for so many years and how faithful he was. I saw through him immediately, just got up and walked out.”
    “Well, I endured him for a bit longer than you.”
    “You did well. After I met him, I was chatting to a nice guy on the site and he told me his sister dated him for two months. By the time she broke it off, she felt he had used her for sex.
Worse than that, he sent her invoices for every meal he had ever paid for along with a receipt for the flowers he had sent her on Valentine’s Day.”
    I was incredulous. “No! The cheek of him.”
    “Worse again – the poor girl paid him.” Ella rolled her eyes. “He seems to think he can use women like prostitutes.”
    “Unpaid prostitutes, at that.”
    “Anyway, enough about him. Another one bites the dust,” Ella said, as I blocked him from further contact.
    “What happened with the exercise guy then – Mr Loves Himself? The one who exercised so much he couldn’t possibly have time for a woman?”
    “Another eejit. He had a great body but he was so conceited about it. I’ve developed a questioning technique where I get information out of them – I pretend to prattle on about
myself, disclosing loads of useless information, give the impression I’m real chilled out and anything goes. Then when I know they’ve fallen for it, I’ll say something like:
‘You know I’m a bit psychic?’ ‘Really?’ they say, wondering if I’m bats or for real. It confuses them and that’s where I’ll slide in something about
it being obvious they’re married, but I’m cool with that.”
    “Did you say that today?” I raised my eyebrows. Ella was so much cleverer than most of these men. Her mouth twitched in a grin.
    “Yes, and I immediately got a red-faced confession – he told me the marriage was over but they were living together for the sake of the kids and he just wanted to test the waters
before leaving. They have such sympathy for themselves, especially if they think you’ll buy it.”
    “That’s unreal, Ella. I need to try that out.”
    “You’d have no problem doing it Kate. You initially have to be as honest as possible, without revealing too much and you need to constantly rely on what your gut is telling you. I
kept up the sympathy act right until the end when I told him he wasn’t for me.”
    “What was his reaction?”
    “Devastated I’d say, after believing I was so bohemian about it. He gave me a sad puppy-dog look which said, ‘How could I reject him with his beautiful body?’ It’s
good to get one-up on a messer like that. Now show me who else you’re in contact with, Kate.”
    “ ‘Elmtree’ coming up.”
    “Hmm. I’d prefer the artist.”
    “Oh, but I’m getting on really well with Ray. We’ve spoken on the phone and I love his voice. He is quite sensitive and spiritual. Seems to have