Loving Rowan by Ariadne Wayne

whistling along with the radio and smiling at me.
    Mum and Dad’s car sat outside the house when we got there. They had left the wedding reception earlier, and I was keen to see what my mum thought of the whole thing.
    I’d been seated well back for the wedding and reception, nowhere near the bride and groom. After all the wedding books Charlie and I had poured over, I had thought she would have included me just a little. I was so glad that Kyle had been with me. Going alone would have been the pits.
    Now I wondered if the kisses had meant anything, or if he’d just done it because we had an audience. Maybe he was showing Andrew and Charlie that I didn’t need them. It was all so confusing.
    Mum was waiting by the door.
    “I heard the car. Did you have a good night?”
    I smiled. “I did, thanks, Mum.”
    “Goodnight, then,” Kyle said, kissing me on the cheek before turning towards the stairs.
    I watched him until he disappeared from sight. Today had been a good day, despite feeling as though my heart was breaking. Kyle had taken care of me like a true friend would. The kisses he’d given me had been amazing.
    “So, are you going to keep that poor boy dangling?” I turned to see my mother with a big smile on her face.
    “What are you talking about?”
    “Anyone can see he’s smitten with you, Rowan. He was attentive, and never looked at any of the other girls all night. And don’t think I missed the way he kissed you.”
    I shrugged. “He’s a good friend, Mum. He knew how hard this weekend was going to be for me.”
    She walked towards me. “Rowan Jean Taylor. That boy is in love with you. It’s written all over his face. Honey, I know you loved Andrew, and I know you’re hurt that he chose Charlie, but you have to move on. You said yourself you have feelings for Kyle. Think about what I’ve said. Please?”
    I nodded. “Okay, Mum. I promise.”
    I could feel the tears welling. She was right. But Kyle? We were friends, and that was all we could ever be. He was this gorgeous, unattainable man, as far as romance goes. There was no way he felt that way about me. Maybe we were such good friends because he wasn’t attracted to me. He couldn’t be. Could he?
    All those feelings that I held down came rising to the surface in that moment. I was the plain Jane in our group. Who would want me, with my freckles and boy body? Kyle was beautiful; there was no other way to describe him. There was no way we were compatible in that way.
    “I know you want me to be happy, Mum. Kyle and I are just friends. I’m sure that’s all we’ll ever be. I don’t think he’s interested in me in that way.”
    How could I tell her no one like him would ever be interested in me in that way?
    “I think you’re crazy. You’ll lose him if you’re not careful, and I know you, Rowan, I know your heart. You wouldn’t let him get so close if you didn’t feel so much for him, and from what I can see the feeling’s mutual. He worships the ground you walk on, love. See what’s right in front of you before it slips away.”
    I stared at her for a moment, her eyes pleading with me to do what she asked. She really believed what she was saying, but she didn’t know Kyle the way I did.
    Turning on my heel, I ran up the stairs, away from that look. The tears flowed as I ran past the spare room door. Kyle was peeking out the doorway, and he watched as I ran past him to my room.
    The calm I had felt leading up to this day ruined, I sobbed, sinking onto the floor behind my door. My dress was a mess as the tears dropped onto the fragile fabric, staining it with big, dark drops. I didn’t even care if I wrecked it; the pain from the loss I’d suffered was so acute, it wiped all other concerns from my mind. Andrew and Charlie were married. I would always be on the outer with them. Even though I’d known for some time now that there was no chance for Andrew and I, the finality of this day hit hard.
    I ignored the gentle tap on the