Margot: A Novel by [email protected] Page B

city buses it
03 took me to finally make my way home. “Yes, I did.”
04 “Good,” he says. “Let’s discuss them over lunch today, all
05 right? We’ll walk down to Isaac’s Delicatessen at noon.”
06 “We?” I hear myself saying, though I know it is a stupid
07 thing to say even as the word escapes my lips.
08 “Unless you have other plans,” he says.
09 “No, no. Of course not,” I say. “Lunch will be perfectly
10 fine.”
11 I hang up the phone, and Shelby is staring at me with
12 raised eyebrows, her lips in the shape of an O, but I ignore her
13 and begin typing. And then I smile to myself as I wonder if
14 Ezra is not the reason why Joshua is here today. If the reason
15 why is me.
16 As I wait for Joshua to come out of his office, just before
17 noon, my cheeks grow warm at the notion of our upcoming
18 lunch, just the two of us. Then I find myself thinking, That
19 was how it began with Peter and me, lunch . And it is confusing
20 how my mind wanders to Peter, when I am so eagerly awaiting
21 the time with Joshua. But I cannot push the thought away.
22 Peter is there, always there. And the woman’s voice from the
23 phone sounded so much like my sister, though, of course, it
24 could not be.
25 My sister’s voice and Peter. They go together in my head
26 now, though, don’t they? Even when things first began
27 between Peter and me, it was because of her. My sister and I
28S had been lying on her bed together that day, writing in our
29N diaries and studying, just the two of us, as we did often.
Sometimes my sister slept, and I watched the door. Other 01
times, that day, she could not sit still. It was so small in the 02
annex, and there were so many of us, and we weren’t sup 03
posed to talk above a whisper during the day when the office 04
was filled with workers below us. 05
This was the hardest for my sister. She enjoyed the sound 06
of her own voice hanging in the air. She was inquisitive. She 07
always wanted to know things, to analyze them out loud. She 08
whispered to me, all the time, about everything. There was 09
no room to think. 10
“Can’t you just stop?” I finally said to her, in something 11
that verged on louder than a whisper that day. 12
“Just stop what?” she asked, chewing on the edge of the 13
fountain pen she was writing with. 14
“Talking,” I said. 15
“I’m just asking you how you feel about the weather,” she 16
huffed. We could hear the gentle sound of rain against the 17
rooftop. 18
“The weather?” I fumed. “Who cares about the weather? 19
We’re trapped in here. And you’re always talking, always so 20
cheerful.” 21
“So I shouldn’t say a word, and what? Be a paragon of 22
virtue like you? A silent and gloomy and determined-to 23
become-smarter-with-all-your-studies-while-you’re-here 24
bore?” She glared at me, and I got off the bed, and I stormed 25
out of the room, or my best attempt at it while also tiptoeing 26
in my stockinged feet. Right in the hallway, I nearly bumped 27
into Peter. S28
He stood there, holding on to his cat, Mouschi, and a few N29
01 pieces of bread. Peter was tall, with blue eyes the color of the
02 sea. I’d noticed him at school before, but he’d never once
03 seemed to notice me before that moment; even in our close
04 ness in the annex, we’d barely spoken.
05 “You can sit in our room with us,” he said then, referring
06 to himself and Mouschi. “It’s quiet. And we’ll share our lunch
07 with you.”
08 “Margie.” Joshua’s voice interrupts my thoughts, and I
09 glance at the clock and see that it is exactly noon now. “You
10 ready to go to lunch?” He taps his hand easily against the
11 edge of my desk before reaching up for his hat. Shelby is typ
12 ing. I hear the clickety-click of the keys, but I also feel her
13 eyes on me, burning steadily through my skin. She will ask
14 me many questions about this when I get back.
15