Mind and Emotions by Matthew McKay Page A

disorders and the judgmental thoughts that fuel depression, anger, and shame. Let’s take a look at the applications of defusion for each of these mood states.
    Anxiety
    Anxious thoughts come in a wide variety of forms. Here are just a few examples:
     
     
I’m freaking out. I’ll have a panic attack.
I hope the hotel room isn’t on a high floor.
Did I lock the back door? Better check one more time.
I can’t let down my guard or something terrible will happen.
Everything’s falling apart: the taxes are due, bills are due, the roof leaks, and Jan’s sick.
They’re all laughing at me because I’m so clueless.
    Anxious thoughts generally share two themes: worry about the future rather than a focus on the present moment, and fearful predictions of danger, catastrophe, or embarrassment that vastly exceed the likelihood that those things will actually come to pass. The defusion techniques that involve observing and labeling thoughts can reduce anxiety about the future by helping you detach from your thoughts and allowing you to see how they come and go. Defusion techniques such as Card Carrying and “I’ll Take This Thought with Me and Still…” help reduce the paralyzing impact of dire predictions.
    Depression
    Depressive thoughts tend to focus on failure, hopelessness, and loss. Here are some typical examples:
     
     
I always screw up.
What’s the use of trying? Nothing works for me.
It’s hopeless.
I’ve failed again.
Why did I lose_______________?
    The bleakly judgmental thoughts of depression are best defused by techniques that remind you that thoughts are transient and often just plain wrong. Remember, thoughts come and go, and they aren’t necessarily true; they’re just your mind trying to get your attention. If your depression leaves you feeling lethargic, use shorter defusion exercises that can be done quickly, such as “Thank You, Mind,” Turning a Hand, or “How Old Is This?”
    Anger
    Angry thoughts are heated, defensive, and relentlessly judgmental. Here are some examples:
     
     
What a jerk!
How dare she say that?
I’ll show those bastards!
Take that!
    The best defusion techniques for the violently judgmental thoughts of anger are those that work quickly so that they can have an effect before rage escalates into shouting, breaking things, or hitting. Try Card Carrying or Turning a Hand. If anger has settled into smoldering resentment, you can try techniques that take a bit more time, such as “What’s My Mind Up To?” or Breathing Mindfully While Observing Thoughts.
    Shame
    Shameful thoughts turn your judgment back on yourself. They also frequently feature rumination on the past. Here are a few examples:
     
     
I’m no good.
I’m damaged.
I’m unforgivable.
I can never lift my head in the world.
I don’t deserve anything pretty or fun or nice.
    The judgmental thoughts of shame or guilt often focus on the past, so use defusion techniques that look back in time: “What’s That in Service Of?” “And How Has That Worked for Me?” and “How Old Is This?”
    Duration
    You can start practicing defusion right away. You’ll experience some of its distancing, quieting, calming effects immediately. But defusion is more like aspirin than surgery: It wears off and you have to keep taking it. You’ll need to practice various defusion techniques for several weeks or even a few months to develop the habit of using defusion in your day-to-day life. The automatic language machine of your mind has been spewing thoughts at you since the day you learned to say “Mama,” so it will take time to unlearn the old habit of accepting every random thought as true. Defusion techniques aren’t a one-time fix, like deciding to never wear lime green pants again. It’s more like practicing yoga or physical therapy to gradually improve your posture and flexibility over time.
    In the long term, defusion has great potential for changing major behavioral patterns. As you learn to successfully defuse from