Mind and Emotions by Matthew McKay

will continue to come up from time to time, and that you will continue to survive the thought and carry on with your life, just as you always have before.
Turning a Hand
    Each time you have a painful thought, let go of it by turning your hand over as if you’re letting go of a small stone that you’ve been carrying. Tell yourself, “There’s a thought… Let it go,” as you turn a hand and let the thought fall away.
Card Carrying
    Write your most typical bothersome thoughts on a 3 by 5 index card and carry it in your pocket or purse. When your mind comes up with one of these thoughts, dismiss it by saying to yourself, “I’ve got that on the card.” You don’t need to once again dwell on past mistakes, worry about a potential confrontation, or catalog your shortcomings. You’ve already done those things, and you’ve got them on the card.
“What’s That in Service Of?”
    When intrusive thoughts plague you, ask yourself, “What’s that in service of? What is my mind trying to get me to do?” For instance, say your husband’s birthday is coming up and you know he’d like to go out to dinner at his favorite restaurant, but every time you think about making reservations, you remember the inner-city neighborhood where that restaurant is located and think, “What if we get mugged?” A wave of anxiety and depression comes over you and you feel overwhelmed.
    The next time it happens, ask yourself, “What’s that in service of? What is my mind trying to get me to do?” The fact is, maybe you almost never go out at night because it makes you nervous to be away from home after dark. In that case, you’d realize that your thoughts are in service of immobilizing you until it’s too late to make the reservation.
    Seeing the purpose of an intrusive thought—usually to prevent you from doing something scary—is very different from buying into the thought. When you buy into a thought, you’re assuming it’s true. When you see the purpose of a thought, you realize it’s just your mind trying to make you do or not do something.
“And How Has That Thought Worked for Me?”
    This exercise continues the theme of the previous one. If you have the thought “What if we get mugged?” and feel paralyzed whenever you consider going out at night, ask yourself, “And how has that thought worked for me?” Chances are, it’s worked to keep you stuck at home alone while your partner or friends go out without you, and your life and relationships have diminished over time as a result.
    By asking “And how has that thought worked for me?” you expose the consequences of being your thoughts, as opposed to having your thoughts. You gain a bit of distance from your thoughts and throw some light into the space between what you think and who you are.
“I’ll Take This Thought with Me and Still…”
    Here’s the payoff of the two previous exercises. You’ve defused from habitual, painful thoughts by asking what they’re in service of, and you’ve reminded yourself that buying into these thoughts hasn’t worked well for you in the past. Now you can tell yourself, “I’ll take this thought with me and still…
     
     
make the birthday dinner reservation.”
finish the report on time.”
tell her I love her.”
register for classes on Tuesday.”
    This self-statement is shorthand for a major theme of acceptance and commitment therapy, which could be characterized like this: “Yes, I have this thought and it makes me feel anxious (depressed, angry, guilty, and so on), but it need not stop me from living my life. I can have this thought and this feeling and carry on with what I really want to do. As I go forward, this thought and this feeling will come up again, and again I will take it with me. I accept this thought and commit to pursuing what I really value in life.”
    Applications
    Defusion applies across the board to all the mood disorders, lessening the impact of the worry thoughts typical of the various anxiety