Minecraft: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 4: Zombie Swap (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) (Minecraft, Minecraft Books, Minecraft Books for Kids, Minecraft Diary, Minecraft Handbook, Herobrine) by Herobrine Books Page B
Authors: Herobrine Books
flesh, or stale mucus, or moldy gym socks.
Except for one kid…he smelled like all three. I really liked him.
But, I decided that today, I was going to get through it.
I mean, Steve is probably having a tough time too.
Being a Zombie is really hard, you know. Especially trying to keep up with the cool lifestyle and reputation I’ve built for myself at school.
I feel real sorry for him.
The cool thing is that Steve gave me his extra cellphone so we can call each other in case we get in a sticky situation.
I’m probably going to call him like fifty times today.
Well, here goes another day of craziness at human middle school…
Tuesday Night
Today was the worst day of my life…
Man, I thought there was drama in being a Zombie.
These humans have drama, times ten!
As soon as I got to school today, all the other kids were looking at me and saying stuff to each other.
I wanted to be friendly, so I went up to one kid to say “Hi.” He did something with his eyes and walked away.
I didn’t know you could roll your eyes into your head like that….
Then when I was walking to class, I tripped and accidentally dropped my books on the floor.
I was still getting used to walking straight.
I went to go pick my books up, but then everybody started kicking them down the hallway.
Somehow they ended up in the toilet bowl in the boys bathroom.
The good thing is that now they actually smell like my books back home.
My first class was called “How to Annihilate Mobs and Eradicate Them From Existence.”
It was taught by a former army sergeant that fought in the previous Zombie Apocalypse.
His name was Master Sergeant Fuller B. Loney.
All I can tell you is that all through class I was shaking like a leaf.
He talked about how to chop Zombies into little bits with a pickaxe or axe. But, he said, the best weapon is a sword. You can cut off arms and legs real easy with a sword.
I was about to hurl in the middle of class.
He said with creepers, you need to be really careful. The best assault is to knock them into other mobs so that they can blow up the whole lot.
Slimes are easy, he said. Just lure them into a lake and drown them.
But skeletons are the worst. He said you’ve got to either use TNT to blow up a bunch of them, or chop them down to size with a sword.
“And if you ever find yourself out of food…” He said. “ You can use rotten flesh to make some great beef jerky. Zombie Jerky, I call it.”
I blew out of class so fast, I left the door swinging behind me.
Right in the middle of the school hallway, I hurled.
All of the other kids started laughing at me…Especially when I slipped and fell in my vomit.
I actually didn’t mind the vomit…
The laughing, though, I didn’t like very much.
The one good thing that happened today was that a really nice girl helped me and took me to get cleaned up.
“Are you OK, Steve?” She said.
“You know who I am?”
“Steve, it’s me. Alex.” She said. “You must’ve hit your head harder than I thought.”
“Hi Alex.” I said.
She took some paper towels and started cleaning the vomit off my face and clothes.
I asked her to leave a little on my shirt because the smell reminded me of home.
She just looked at me…Confused.
Well, after all that drama, I decided to go home early again, today.
Maybe tomorrow I can make it through a whole day of human school.
I seriously doubt it…
Wednesday
The villagers I live with look pretty smart with their long robes and big noses.
So, I thought I would ask them what I could do to fit in at school.
One of the villagers told me that if I wanted to fit in, then I need to find a group of kids that like what I like.
He said that’s what all of the villagers do. The Farmers stick with the Farmers, the Librarians stick with the Librarians, the Blacksmiths stick with the Blacksmiths, the Priests stick with the Priests, and the Butchers stick with the Butchers.
He said that they all even dress the
Except for one kid…he smelled like all three. I really liked him.
But, I decided that today, I was going to get through it.
I mean, Steve is probably having a tough time too.
Being a Zombie is really hard, you know. Especially trying to keep up with the cool lifestyle and reputation I’ve built for myself at school.
I feel real sorry for him.
The cool thing is that Steve gave me his extra cellphone so we can call each other in case we get in a sticky situation.
I’m probably going to call him like fifty times today.
Well, here goes another day of craziness at human middle school…
Tuesday Night
Today was the worst day of my life…
Man, I thought there was drama in being a Zombie.
These humans have drama, times ten!
As soon as I got to school today, all the other kids were looking at me and saying stuff to each other.
I wanted to be friendly, so I went up to one kid to say “Hi.” He did something with his eyes and walked away.
I didn’t know you could roll your eyes into your head like that….
Then when I was walking to class, I tripped and accidentally dropped my books on the floor.
I was still getting used to walking straight.
I went to go pick my books up, but then everybody started kicking them down the hallway.
Somehow they ended up in the toilet bowl in the boys bathroom.
The good thing is that now they actually smell like my books back home.
My first class was called “How to Annihilate Mobs and Eradicate Them From Existence.”
It was taught by a former army sergeant that fought in the previous Zombie Apocalypse.
His name was Master Sergeant Fuller B. Loney.
All I can tell you is that all through class I was shaking like a leaf.
He talked about how to chop Zombies into little bits with a pickaxe or axe. But, he said, the best weapon is a sword. You can cut off arms and legs real easy with a sword.
I was about to hurl in the middle of class.
He said with creepers, you need to be really careful. The best assault is to knock them into other mobs so that they can blow up the whole lot.
Slimes are easy, he said. Just lure them into a lake and drown them.
But skeletons are the worst. He said you’ve got to either use TNT to blow up a bunch of them, or chop them down to size with a sword.
“And if you ever find yourself out of food…” He said. “ You can use rotten flesh to make some great beef jerky. Zombie Jerky, I call it.”
I blew out of class so fast, I left the door swinging behind me.
Right in the middle of the school hallway, I hurled.
All of the other kids started laughing at me…Especially when I slipped and fell in my vomit.
I actually didn’t mind the vomit…
The laughing, though, I didn’t like very much.
The one good thing that happened today was that a really nice girl helped me and took me to get cleaned up.
“Are you OK, Steve?” She said.
“You know who I am?”
“Steve, it’s me. Alex.” She said. “You must’ve hit your head harder than I thought.”
“Hi Alex.” I said.
She took some paper towels and started cleaning the vomit off my face and clothes.
I asked her to leave a little on my shirt because the smell reminded me of home.
She just looked at me…Confused.
Well, after all that drama, I decided to go home early again, today.
Maybe tomorrow I can make it through a whole day of human school.
I seriously doubt it…
Wednesday
The villagers I live with look pretty smart with their long robes and big noses.
So, I thought I would ask them what I could do to fit in at school.
One of the villagers told me that if I wanted to fit in, then I need to find a group of kids that like what I like.
He said that’s what all of the villagers do. The Farmers stick with the Farmers, the Librarians stick with the Librarians, the Blacksmiths stick with the Blacksmiths, the Priests stick with the Priests, and the Butchers stick with the Butchers.
He said that they all even dress the
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