Miracle (The Pagano Family Book 6) by Susan Fanetti

at his side, quietly watching.
     
    God, he was fucking mortified. He was pathetic. Why had he thought he could have anything good?
     
    When he could, he said, “Go. M’all set.”
     
    She didn’t go. She didn’t argue. She slid her hand under his, weaving their fingers together. Then she sat where she was, at his side, quietly.
     
    When there was any chance at all that he could speak more than a word or two again, he lined up some words in his mind and hoped they’d come. “This…what it’s like…for me. …Tonight…shouldn’t be…a date.”
     
    “Are you saying that because you’re not into me, or because you think I wouldn’t be into you after what just happened?”
     
    He couldn’t answer that question, even though the answer was simple and stark. She’d asked it in a way that would require too many words for a response. When he only stared at the concrete between his feet and said nothing, she seemed to understand.
     
    “Joey, I’m interested. I know about aphasia, and I know about restrictive lung disease. I understand what that means, and I know they don’t have anything to do with who you are. As for kissing or anything else, I know that your lungs can get better, and it seems like you’re trying to make them better. So I’m good with taking things slow, and I’m good with having to stop whatever we’re doing so you can take care of yourself. So, if you don’t want to see each other, I need a better reason than your oxygen tank. If you don’t want me, that’s one thing, but please don’t make decisions about what I want or need.”
     
    “Can’t take…being a… …” He didn’t know if his mouth would have made the word ‘burden,’ because his brain wouldn’t let him try. And he wasn’t sure it was the word that really belonged at the end of that sentence, anyway. Maybe ‘joke’ was the word he really couldn’t say.
     
    Tina put her hand on his cheek and turned his head so that they were eye to eye. “Then I guess you have to make a decision about whether you can trust me when I say that I’m not bothered about the way you speak or breathe.”
     
    Fight or surrender. Every day, all day, he faced that choice. This time, though, fighting felt a little bit like surrender. Not giving up, but giving in.
     
    Their fingers were still linked. He squeezed his hand around hers. “I…trust you.”
     
     
    ~oOo~
     
     
    So what’s the homily today?
     
    Don’t know yet. Only at the 2 nd reading.
     
    Well, let’s guess. Ash Wed is this week.
     
    Joey chuckled to himself as he typed SIN SIN SIN WE ARE ALL SINNERS KNOW SHAME AND REPENT and hit send. It had taken him a few seconds to find the word ‘repent’ in his brain, but otherwise, words were flowing well. They always moved better when he was writing, and typing was even better than handwriting.
     
    LMAO , Tina replied. Yep. Bet that pizza’s sitting hard right now.
     
    Hah. Nope. That was good. No shame there. At all. He wondered if she’d understand all he meant by that.
     
    Her reply suggested that she had: I’m calling it. If he mentions 1 Cor 15, I want another pizza. And another kiss.
     
    Before he could send a text back, Luca punched his right arm. “You’re getting Pop worked up, shithead. Put your phone away,” his brother grumbled.
     
    Joey looked down the pew and got trapped in his father’s disappointed eyes. He mouthed Sorry . Before he put his phone away, he quickly tapped out a message to Tina, who stayed home with her mother while her father and brothers came to Mass. He didn’t want to leave her last text unanswered, and that was more important than anything else.
     
    Even if it’s not COR, you can have both. Gotta go. Got caught. He hated emojis, but she seemed to love them, all of her texts had at least two, so he added a grinning face.
     
    “Joe!” Luca barked under his breath. Joey put his phone in his suit coat pocket. He glanced up and down the pew and saw that all of his