Mockingbird (A Stepbrother Romance) by Abigail Graham

was so strange. I felt like I was wandering on another planet."
    True. I never attended a wild high school party, or any high school at all after my mother passed. I barely remember it. Sometimes I confuse the way it was with things I've seen on television. So much has happened since then, a whole lifetime packed into a few short years.
    "You've never talked about Mom."
    "No."
    He motions his hands like he's got a cigarette pinched between his fingers. He does that a lot, in quieter moments. He quit after he picked me up. I couldn't abide seeing anyone smoke after what happened. I   was so lost when she was lying in the hospital withering away.   The disease stole everything about her, turned her into a pale, gaunt shade of her former self. At the end she was so thin I could see her ribs through the hospital gown and blankets, and the bones of her hips jutting out. The memory comes back to me hard and I squeeze the railing to stop my hands from shaking.
    "I met her on a job," he says, very softly. "She wasn't involved, I just ran into her a few times while I was casing the place and working up my plan."
    "Which job?"
    "I don't remember."
    A little pang of anger twists in my stomach.
    "They all blur together," he adds, quickly. "When I was young, it was all about the excitement. The riches, the women, and most of all the thrill of the chase, the threat of being caught, the exultation of   success. Every time I'd swear this time I'm going to settle down, this time I'm going to retire, I've made enough, done enough, and I never did. I just kept going. I want to tell you the night you were conceived was magical, special, but I don't even remember it. We hooked up a few times. I felt something for her I've never felt for any of the others. After her the carousing became boring. It felt like there was no real point anymore, but I couldn't stay. A man in my line of work makes enemies, and if I settled down they would, in time, find me and strike at me through people I cared about. The best thing I could do was move on."
    "Move on and keep stealing. Very convenient."
    "You're going to hurt yourself with this girl. I can see it in your eyes. Worse, you're going to hurt her. We have to do this job. She's smart. She's going to figure out what we've done, and the more of a thing you make it with her, the more it's going to hurt her . If you like her , spare her that pain, not yourself. For her sake…"
    "For her sake, what? Manipulate her emotions and fuck her so I can rob her mother's employer?"
    "I don't think you'll have to."
    "Dad, I'm starting to think we need to back out of this one. You keep telling me you have reserves and savings and resources. Let's back out of it now . You're telling me not to hurt Diana but her mother is falling for you. I'd have to be blind not to see it. I'm sure my old man can get the job done, but she's not looking at you the way they look at…" Me, I'm about to say, but I trail off.
    "I want to," he says, and his voice breaks in a way that twists in my chest like a blade. "I'm an old man."
    "Oh, you are not."
    "Yes, I am. Passing fifty soon enough. When you get old enough, the diamonds start to lose their sparkle, the gold loses its lustre and all you're left with is a life to look back on and ask, what have I done? The only thing I've done that will last in this world is you, and look how that's turned out."
    He stands up from the rail. "You've got nothing on your plate tomorrow. I have work to do. Take the car, go somewhere and get your mind off the girl. Keep your head in the game. This will be my last rodeo, I'm done after this. After that you can do as you like, but settle somewhere, for my sake. The longer you run the more and more the ghosts chase you until you can't outrun them anymore."
    As he walks into the house he stops.
    "I was wrong. I should have made that job the last one and stayed with you. I've never been more wrong about anything in my life."
    Then he disappears inside and leaves