Money in the Bank by P. G. Wodehouse Page A

Mrs. Cork, if I had ever seen an Ugubu. I now ask you, in my turn, if you have ever seen a one-armed paperhanger with the hives?"
    "I don't understand you."
    "I merely wish to assure you that that is what I shall be as busy as. 'Watch Cakebread,' you say. 'Watch Miss Benedick,' you add. 'Watch my nephew,' you conclude. I will do so. I will watch them all. And if it gives me a crick in the neck, that is just one of the perils of the profession—an occupational risk, as you might say—which a detective must face with a stiff upper lip. And now," said Jeff, "I think my best plan will be to lose no time in making your nephew's acquaintance. I always try to become acquainted at the earliest possible moment with people I am employed to watch. I ingratiate myself with them, thus winning their confidence and causing them to become clay in my hands. I shall, for instance, try to see a good deal of Miss Benedick while I am here. Similarly with Mr.—Green, did you say was the name? You mentioned, I think, that he was arriving this evening?"
    "His train is due in half an hour."
    "I will meet it. And I shall hope, by the time we get to the house, to have laid the foundations of a firm friendship. What does he look like?"
    "What does that matter?"
    "I always think it is a help, when you are meeting a person who is arriving by train, to be able to recognise him."
    "Oh, I see. He is tall, slender and very good-looking. He has a small, silky moustache, and his eyes are a soft hazel."
    "Then I will be starting now, so as to be on the platform in good time," said Jeff.
    There was no actual need for him to have torn himself away from his employer's society for another ten minutes or so, for the walk to the station was a mere step, but it irked him to remain in the company of anyone who could consider Stinker Green's moustache silky.
     
     

 
    CHAPTER IX
     
    When a sensitive young man with a high opinion of himself alights from a train and finds confronting him on the platform the barrister who has recently made a public spectacle of him in the witness box, some slight constraint is inevitable. Almost never in such circumstances does the stream of conversation flow from the start with an easy effortlessness.
    Lionel Green's eyes, as they rested on Jeff, remained hazel, but the fondest and least discerning aunt could not have described them as soft. He recoiled like one who sees a snake in his path, and, drawing himself to his full height, would have passed on without a word, had not Jeff attached himself to his arm.
    "Hullo, there," said Jeff, genially. "We meet again, what?"
    Lionel Green endeavoured, without success, to disengage himself.
    "Don't wriggle," said Jeff. "You seem disinclined to chat, Stinker, and I believe I know why. You have not forgotten that little dust-up of ours at the bar of Justice yesterday. Or am I wrong?"
    Lionel Green assured him that he was not wrong.
    "I had a feeling that that might be it. My dear old man, you mustn't take a trifle like that to heart. I was purely the professional. No animus whatsoever. If I had been briefed for the defence, I would have made Ernest Pennefather look just as big a piece of cheese. Don't you feel that outside the court we can be the best of friends?"
    Lionel Green said he did not.
    "I feared as much. Well, this makes things rather awkward. You see, our interests are bound up together, and only by the exercise of mutual toleration and the old give-and-take spirit can we both obtain our full helping of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You will have to curb your resentment."
    "Will you kindly let go of my arm. I want to find the station cab."
    "I will lead you to it. Our paths lie in the same direction. You are headed for Shipley Hall. I am already in residence."
    "What!"
    "Yes."
    "Do you know my aunt?"
    "I do, indeed. A charming woman. And this will make you laugh. She thinks I'm a detective—you know how one is always getting mistaken for detectives—and is employing