Monkey Business by Anna Wilson Page A

adoption,’ Zed began, rather vaguely.
    ‘Good start,’ muttered Silver.
    Zed shot her a helpless look and strummed his long fingers on the table as if he would be able to extract some words from the shiny metal surface. ‘OK,’ he started again.
‘Like, there’s adopting a kid cos you really want one of your own but you can’t . . . and then of course you get to take the kid home with you, else what’d be the point? And
then there’s adopting, like, a kitten or a puppy from the RSPCA cos someone’s abandoned it? And then you get to take that home too, cos puppies and kittens are normal pets that loads of
people have in their houses. And then there’s these adoption
schemes
like the ones we were looking at on the Net where you pay money every month to a charity who looks after animals,
often in other countries, and the animal gets to stay in its
own
home and be looked after properly with all the money that you are kindly sending it.’
    Felix was struggling with an extra-long stringy piece of cheese and frowning as he tried to fit it into his mouth. His fingers were covered in tomato sauce by now, and the front of his hoody
wasn’t much better off.
    Zed interpreted the confused expression on Felix’s face to mean that he had not explained the whole adoption thing clearly enough. As it turned out, he had. But Felix was enjoying the
pizza so much that he had not been listening very carefully.
    Silver bit her lip. ‘Do you get what Zed is saying, Feels?’
    Felix wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and said, ‘What?’
    Zed sighed and put his head in his hands. He rubbed his head for a moment and then looked up and said wearily, ‘We didn’t know you thought Reggie was coming to
live
with you.
Thing is, he’d hate it here. It’s too cold and he’d miss his natural habitat. At least you know with the adoption money that we’ve sent that he’ll be well looked
after. You’ll see that from the emails and photos the charity sends every month.’
    Felix pulled an I-suppose-so face. ‘But what about monkeys in zoos?’ he asked suddenly. ‘Or in those safari park places, like Shortfleet where we’re going for my birthday
treat? They have monkeys there. Isn’t it too cold there? Why don’t those monkeys get sent back to Africa or Asia where they are supposed to live?’
    Zed nodded seriously. ‘You’re right there, man. But it’s complicated, y’know: some of those monkeys were born right here in the UK, so they don’t know any
different.’
    ‘Are you saying that the animals at Shortfleet are Born In Captivation?’ Felix asked, outrage filling every word.
    Zed winced and said, ‘Yeah. But, man, it’s not a bad thing,’ he added hastily. ‘For instance, wouldn’t you prefer for the animals to be born in captivity in this
country where people can look after them well and feed them good food and protect them rather than have them be born in another country where they might be shot or maltreated like Reggie has been?
Lord Basin set up Shortfleet for that very reason. It’s like I told you: he’s a well-respected dude in the conservation world.’
    Felix puffed out his cheeks in disgust. A splodge of pizza escaped from the corner of his mouth. ‘First you say that it’s better that when you adopt an animal it stays in its own
country because it would be too cold here, and now you are telling me that being Born In Captivation is better because the animal will not be maltreated! You are not making an actual word of
sense,’ he complained.
    Zed’s face was a picture of confusion and panic. ‘Er . . .’ he said.
    ‘Hey, I know,’ Silver chirruped. ‘Let’s have the toffee-fudge ice cream, yeah?’
    Felix pursed his lips and thought for a moment. ‘OK,’ he said. It was quite clear that Zed had no idea what he was talking about, so there was not much point in continuing the
conversation. ‘Can I have chocolate sprinkles?’ he asked.
    ‘Sure you can,’ said