Monkey Business by Anna Wilson Page B

Silver.
    Zed made a big show of calling over the waitress and ordering just about every kind of ice cream accessory he could think of:
    ‘Chocolate sprinkles, right? And do you have those awesome little paper umbrella dudes to stick in the top? And maybe like a sparkler too? And marshmallows – we
have
to have
marshmallows – it’s like compulsory . . .’
    And while he was doing that Felix chewed over the conversation he had just had with his uncle and Silver. So, he thought, this is what has happened so far: Number One, I cannot have an elephant
as a pet as it is too big and Mum would Never Allow It. Number Two, I cannot adopt an orang-utan as it is too cold in this country and the charity people would Never Allow It. Number Three: it is,
however, possible to let wild animals live in this country if they are Born In Captivation by a Responsible Breeder like Lord Basin. He knew there was the beginning of a solution to his pet problem
here, but he couldn’t quite see how it all fitted together just yet.
    ‘Da-daaaaah!’ Zed said with an enthusiastic flourish of a long gangly arm.
    Felix blinked at the ginormous knickerbocker glory that had just been put in front of him.
    ‘One mammoth ice cream with everything I could think of on top!’ Zed announced goofily. ‘For my favourite nephew – to say sorry,’ he added quietly. ‘Are we
cool now, man? I’ll still pay for the adoption and you’ll get the newsletters and info pack and stuff . . .’
    ‘Maybe we can look into another treat for you when we visit Shortfleet?’ Silver said, as Felix tucked into his dessert. ‘You know, like sometimes they let people be keeper for
the day where you get to help out with the animals. They have so many animals in that place, I’m sure they could do with someone to take them off their hands once in a while,’ she
added.
    ‘Thanks,’ said Felix, feeling a little brighter suddenly. He took hold of the long-handled spoon that had come with his ice cream and dug it deep into the dessert mountain in front
of him. Silver’s words echoed glitteringly in his mind as he shovelled a large portion of ice cream and chocolate sprinkles into his mouth. ‘You know, Silver, you have actually given me
a mega-fantastic idea.’
    Silver frowned and started to say something, but Zed shook his head at her and said cheerily, ‘Here’s to the coolest birthday ever, dude!’
    ‘It’s all over,’ Felix announced dramatically to Flo the next day in the playground. They had not gone to school together that morning as Mrs Small had called
to say Flo was ‘being difficult’ and so they were ‘running late’.
    ‘What is all over?’ Flo asked stroppily. ‘The world? The game you were playing with Harris over there when you wouldn’t let me in? The snack you were eating, which you
wouldn’t—’
    ‘If you will just stop talking for one tiny micro-nanosecond and actually listen for a change, I will tell you,’ Felix interrupted crossly. Then he took a deep breath and plunged in
quickly: ‘I am not getting a real live orang-utan for my birthday after all.’ And he proceeded to tell Flo what had happened the night before.
    To her credit, Flo did at least wait until Felix had finished before sinking her head into her hands and wailing: ‘Oh no!’ Her bouncy curls flopped over the top of her head and made
her look like a floor mop of blonde fluff.
    Felix grimaced. She wasn’t going to start crying, was she? He didn’t like it when girls cried. Should he pat her on the back? Should he go and get a teacher or one of Flo’s
girly friends? But then the curls were tossed back into place and Flo looked up at him with a steely flash of anger in her eye.
    ‘Just answer me one question, Felix Stowe,’ she said venomously.
    ‘Oh-Kay . . .’ Felix faltered.
    ‘What am I supposed to do now with all those bananas? And all those EXTRA Brussels sprouts Dad has planted – how am I going to get out of eating them? Because Dad