Monkey Wrench by Liza Cody Page A

and get him some sugar then. And anything else that might help. You know dogs, Eva.’
    I took the money. That bleeding Enemy. You never know where you are with her. First she wants to kick that poor little sod and his dog out in the street, and next she’s buying the dog sugar for her tea. She just ain’t stable – that’s what’s wrong with her. Her mental attitude’s all up the bleeding spout.
    So I trotted off to Hanif’s, which is open all hours, and as I went I hummed to myself, ‘Anna Lee, The Enemy, She wanted to shit, then she wanted to pee. She changed her mind at half past three.’
    I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, having got my own way again. All you need is willpower. You can even make things rhyme with willpower.
    â€˜Hee-hee-hee, Anna Lee,’ I sang to meself, and then Crystal came up behind me and grabbed my elbow.
    â€˜Fuckin’
ow
!’ I said, because my elbow was all bruised.
    â€˜Sorry,’ Crystal said. ‘What’s happening, Eva? I looked out me window and there you was busting into the Premises.’
    Which reminded me.
    â€˜Those bleeding premises,’ I said. ‘I thought that was supposed to be my gym. I thought you said you was renting.’
    â€˜I never,’ she said. ‘I said you would have it rent free.’
    â€˜Me and everyone else,’ I said. ‘It’s a bleeding squat now.’
    â€˜How?’
    â€˜There’s a kid and his dog in there.’
    â€˜Can’t you get them out?’ Crystal asked. ‘And who’s that other woman you’re with?’
    â€˜That’s Anna Lee of Lee-Schiller Security.’
    â€˜Who’s that when it’s at home?’
    â€˜Security,’ I said. ‘Like me. Taking care of empty property.’
    â€˜Oh shit,’ she said.
    â€˜Yeah. Your
“premises”
. My gym.’
    â€˜Does she know?’
    â€˜You think I’m stupid or what?’
    â€˜What she going to do, then?’ Crystal said. ‘Turf this kid out?’
    â€˜Over my dead body,’ I said. ‘His dog’s just about to drop her litter.’
    â€˜Puppies?’ Crystal said, her little monkey-face all screwed up. ‘You mean this Lee person’s letting this kid stop in our premises for a load of puppies?’
    â€˜She ain’t,’ I said. ‘But I am. That bitch didn’t ought to be moved.’
    â€˜Lee?’
    â€˜No, stupid. The fucking dog.’
    â€˜Oh,’ said Crystal. Honestly, she gets on my nerves.
    I went on, and Crystal scurried along behind me.
    At Hanif’s I bought sugar, eggs and milk. They’re all good for sick dogs. You got to separate the eggs though. You don’t want to give a dog white of egg, only the yolk. I got some more tea bags too because Queenie looked like she was going to have a long night of it.
    Crystal tagged along on the way back too. She said, ‘What we going to do?’
    â€˜What you mean –
we
?’
    â€˜Us,’ she said. ‘You. Me. Bella and the girls.’
    â€˜Don’t you lump me in with that lot,’ I said. Which shut her up.
    Back at the Premises, The Enemy had rigged the light a bit better, and the kid’s pan of water was boiling. I dumped the shopping down and said, ‘This lot’s for Queenie. Not for you.’
    â€˜I know,’ the kid said. ‘Thanks.’
    â€˜Well,’ I said. ‘You can have the egg whites, I suppose. Queenie don’t want them. She gets the yolks, mind.’
    â€˜Yes,’ he said. ‘You’re very kind.’ He was a bit bloody polite for a squatter. I didn’t trust him.
    â€˜Whip an egg yolk up in the milk and let her drink it,’ I told him.
    He was squatting over his stove, making the tea in a plastic bowl. He spooned some sugar in. I stood there making sure he didn’t nick any for himself.
    The Enemy stopped looking at the kid and saw