More Lies and Alibis (Using Lies as Alibis #2) by Tiffany L. Warren Page B

hasn’t always been this way.  He just started this when I had my…um…legal troubles.”
    “So his reaction was to come up with rules.”
    I nod.  “He’s acting like I’m a child that needs punishing.  I am not a child.”
    “You’re not.  Tell me, what are you on this earth to do?” Dr. King asks.
    I look at the floor and then up again.  “I-I don’t know.”
    “Since happiness to you means walking in your purpose, then you’ll need to discover that.  I can’t tell you that.”
    “I see.”
    “Or when you say, ‘doing exactly what I’m on this earth to do’, are you just repeating things you’ve heard in a sermon or at a women’s conference?”
    I clear my throat and frown.  “It sounds right, doesn’t it?”
    “It does, but I want it to be more than just words for you.”
    “Are you happy, Dr. King?”
    She nods.  “Today, I am, but not every day.  Sometimes I am sad and frustrated.  Sometimes my spirit is restless.”
    Well, I need a new therapist then.  If she’s not happy, how in the world is she going to guide me?
    “Maybe it’s Bryan.  Maybe I don’t want to be married to him anymore.  He seems to hate me anyway.  He called me manipulative and deceptive right to my face and then read the definitions out the dictionary like I didn’t know what those words meant.”
    Dr. King frowns .  “I don’t like that.  If I may be frank, it sounds like emotional abuse.”
    Finally, she’s starting to understand where I’m coming from.  At first, I thought she was on Bryan’s side. 
    “It fe lt like abuse when he said it.”
    “Did you tell him as much?”
    “Oh no.  I don’t like arguing with him.  I usually let the Lord fight my battles when it comes to Bryan, but he said that he was putting our house on the market.  I love my house.  I don’t want to sell it.”
    For some reason I’m spilling my guts to Dr. King.  I didn’t have to tell her about him selling the house, but I need her to understand why Bryan is on my nerves so much.
    Dr. King taps her pen on the notebook again and then scribbles down a few words.  “And you stated your objection to selling the home?  Did he provide you with any alternatives?”
    “ No.”
    “ Do you think there are any options that you’d share with Bryan?”
    “ Yes.  I would like to get a different job, outside of the church.  I think if I make more money we can keep the house.”
    “But you don’t think your husband will like this?”
    “I don’t think he’ll let me.  Even though we don’t make a lot of money, Bryan thinks we’re called to be in ministry.”
    Dr. King gets up and walks over to the stove and puts on a pot of water.  “Remember the first day you were here and we talked about choices?”
    “Yes.”
    “It wasn’t just about the questionable choices you’ve made in the past, but it’s about the choices you’re going to make for your future as well.”
    “So are you telling me to get a different job?”
    She smiles.  “I’m telling you to ma ke a choice about your future.”
    I like the way Dr. King never comes out and tells me to do anything.  She doesn’t judge either.  But I need her to tell me what to do.  I don’ t know how to choose.  Bingo made me happy, especially when I won.  And everyone thinks that’s all wrong.
    Dr. King walks over with a cup of tea and hands it to me.  “Happiness is a product of your situation and environment,” she says.  “Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  What you want, Carmen, is joy.  Joy doesn’t disappear when you go through a valley.”
    “Is that what this is?  A valley?”
    Dr. King nods.  “I think so.  A temporary place.”
    I sit back on the couch and slowly sip my tea.  Are my problems with Bryan only temporary?  I would like to think that they are, but every day I find myself thinking about making a permanent solution.  Walking away from it all. 
    Maybe then I’ll discover this joy that Dr. King is talking