Mr. Jaguar by K.A. Merikan Page A

crap.
    They got to the small wooden hut accompanied only by the rustle of ground under their shoes and birds chirping in the trees. Mike never looked at James once. The guy was a terrific actor if he was able to perform the way he did throughout the day, fooling everyone that he was deeply in love with James. It was so convincing that even James was on the verge of believing.
    “Is anyone there?” shouted James as he approached the low door to the shack.
    “Oh, come on, it’s empty.” Mike kicked the door for emphasis, and it swung open with a creak. Mike walked in without a second thought, but had to turn and bow his head to fit in the tiny door.
    James followed him with a sigh. There were some empty bottles and trash in the corner, but otherwise, the shack was completely theirs, so he got to his knees and started getting the uncomfortable gear off. The air had a stuffy quality to it but wasn’t unpleasant. At least they were in the shade and didn’t have to run around.
    Mike sat on the floor and took off his goggles and helmet. “How long is this supposed to go on for?”
    James shrugged. “No idea. I died within the first fifteen minutes last time.”
    Mike looked to the ceiling, to the floor, to the wall, to his boots, anywhere but at James, like he meant even less than back at school when Mike thought it was fun to bully him.
    James cleared his throat and sat cross-legged a few feet away, forcing himself to face Mike. This couldn’t go on. He needed to apologize, but if Mike wouldn’t accept, then he had every right not to.
    Mike’s gaze finally fell on him. “Are we gonna be singing “Kumbaya” or something?”
    “I’m sorry.” James let out a shaky breath and tangled his fingers together. “I should have never said what I said. It was inexcusable.”
    The frown on Mike’s face deepened. “What? What are you on about?”
    “You know what I’m talking about,” said James, looking him straight in the eyes, and it was like walking through a hot field to the only source of shade within miles. “I had no right to judge you. I was an asshole.”
    Mike crossed his arms on his chest. “Whatever. You’re rich and shit. You can do whatever you want.”
    James squeezed his hands on his thighs. It was so hard to stand the raw accusation in Mike’s eyes. “No, I can’t. I never wanted to be this kind of person, and I’m not this kind of person. You don’t have to forgive me, but I am really sorry. I did work a lot, but I have also been lucky.”
    “Well, I didn’t have such luck. It doesn’t mean I’m never going to do shit. I was in a bad place.” Mike sucked in his bottom lip and sat there, as tense as he used to be before important football games.
    James sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his thighs. In the cool light inside the shack, Mike looked thoughtful and serene. “What happened?”
    Mike groaned and picked at a loose thread on his knee. “I had some plans, but never had enough money to do what I wanted after high school, so I went to work and tried to save up.”
    James bit his lip, relieved that Mike chose to talk to him after all. “What did you want to do?”
    Mike shrugged. “Does it matter? After I came out, my family threw me out, and my brother stole all my savings, so I ended up at that fucking gas station. Doesn’t mean I’m useless.”
    James stared at him, empty headed. “Your brother stole your money?” It was beyond James. His own family hadn’t been thrilled about his sexuality at first but they came round. No wonder Mike was so intent on showing off to his father and brother.
    “Hate the motherfucker. Thinks he’s all that just because he puts his dick in a pussy,” Mike growled and clenched his fists.
    “That’s hardly an achievement,” muttered James, anger bubbling up in him. “Was it the money you were making when you were at school? In Choco Panda?”
    “Yeah, and at Walmart after that. I wasn’t earning a lot, but I saved up a good