My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy) by Tellulah Darling

purred, inserting herself between Kai and me. With a subtle stomp on my toes as a special bonus.
    I stepped around her into Kai’s eyeline in time to see him brighten.
    “Works for me,” he told the Principal.
    Jerk. Just because I was dead, didn't make me any less his girlfriend, did it? Considering the circumstances of my demise, I was the only one allowed to be in a snit. He should have been Mr. Adoring, kissing me, not Mr. Asshat flirting with another girl. No. No thinking about his kisses. That way lay madness.
    “Great. Enjoy yourselves.” I stomped off, but not soon enough to avoid seeing Bethany take his arm to lead him away.
    Hannah and Theo were still having dinner when I dumped my tray on their table. The cafeteria had the standard buffet set-up complete with classy plastic trays to carry our food.
    “More death creatures?” Hannah whispered.
    “Worse. Kai is here.”
    “How?” Theo demanded.
    “Beats me. He's our newest transfer student.”
    Theo swore. I'm guessing in Greek.
    “You're really gonna have to teach me some of those. I think they may come in handy,” I said. “Bethany has glommed on to him like a parasite.”
    Hannah craned her neck around.
    “You aren't seriously looking for him, are you? That violates all kinds of rules in the best friend handbook.”
    “I'm curious. You go from not liking any guys to getting all hot and bothered about this one. I'm dying to see the attraction.”
    “It's not attraction,” I retorted. “It's genetic conditioning. Persephone was, so I am too.”
    “Don't think it works like that,” Theo said. “Like it or not, and I don't, your Sophie self is attracted to him on its own.”
    “No. I refuse to have anything in common with Bethany.”
    “I’m more interested in the nature of his feelings for you,” Hannah said.
    I caught sight of them coming our way and scootched down in my seat. “Frak it all,” I swore. “Play it cool.”
    By cool, I meant ignore them. Apparently, I should have detailed it in a memo.
    “Hi,” Hannah said brightly, forcing Bethany and Kai to pause by our table. “I'm Hannah Nygard.” I kicked her, the traitor.
    She shot me a “don’t be stupid” look.
    “Kai.” He slid his gaze over Hannah and Bethany. “You ladies are definitely a sight for sore eyes after the last school I went to.”
    What was I? Chopped liver? Also, he was a giant liar. Kai had grown up roaming Hades and pestering its inhabitants, gods and dead humans alike, for their knowledge. Hey. Look at me all remembering stuff.
    He shook his head sadly and added, “All boys school. We drew lots to see who had to go in drag to the school dances. It wasn't pretty.”
    Bethany tittered.
    “Especially when you stole your dad’s wine and kissed that nymph only to discover that she wasn’t …” I trailed off, vaguely remembering that Kai had told me—well Persephone—that story at some point in strict confidence. Underworld Jr. looked thunderous. Theo was highly amused. He fake coughed, trying to cover a laugh.
    Kai regarded Theo and stuck out his hand. More in a “take it or I’ll kill you” way than in a “nice to meet you” kind of way. “We haven't officially met. Kai.”
    Theo looked at Kai's hand like it was a snake coiled to strike but reluctantly shook it. “Theo.”
    Kai's eyes widened at the contact. “Theo, huh?” he mused.
    Theo didn't flinch. Or break eye contact. “That's my name,” he said.
    “Names are so interesting.” I said to Kai. “Yours is Greek, isn’t it? I’d love to learn all about where you come from.”
    Totally ignored. Kai turned his focus back to Hannah. More precisely, to her chest.
    Hannah arched an eyebrow as she not-so-subtly cleared her throat.
    Kai raised his eyes to hers. “I like a woman with a big …,” he pointed at her T-shirt which read “well endowed” over a picture of a giant brain. “… cerebellum.”
    Hannah leaned forward, seemingly thrilled that he appreciated her science humor.