My Little Secret by Anna J.

ring I was in too deep, but my selfish ass stayed. Now look at us. If I were smart, I would’ve given the ring back and ended it then. Now I’m stuck.
    â€œJaydah, I understand all that you are saying, but I didn’t know that Ray and I—”
    â€œListen. This is what I want you to do. I want you and Ray to go ahead—”
    â€œHold on, let me talk,” I try to cut her off because I know where this conversation is going, but I’m not really ready for it to end.
    â€œNo, you listen. I’m tired, Midori. I’m tired of playing second string to your wack-ass husband, and I’m done with having to wait until it’s convenient for you. I can’t do this anymore, it’s over.”
    â€œBut, Jaydah, let me—”
    â€œIt’s over.”
    She hung up. No good-bye or maybe we can talk later or anything. She just . . . hung up.
    I start to dial her right back, but I know there is no use. I figure a few days will allow her some cooling-off time, so I’ll just talk to her when I get back.
    It’s a good thing I did hang up, because a few seconds later Ray walks in. I know the meeting couldn’t have been over that fast, so he had to have forgotten something.
    â€œHoney, did I just hear you arguing with someone?” Ray asks as he rummages through some files he had on a desk in the living room of our suite.
    As I figured, he left something he needed at the convention.
    â€œNo, I was talking to someone at the office about a patient.”
    â€œWe’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves. Why are you worrying yourself with work?”
    The look I give him shuts him down for all of ten seconds. He had the audacity to say I shouldn’t be checking my office when we are down here doing business for his. Some nerve.
    â€œYou tricked me into coming here so you could work,” I say, venom dripping from my voice. I swear he makes me sick.
    â€œListen, let’s not argue. The convention will be over in about another two hours. I have a spa treatment set up for us. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the vacation.”
    He walks over and kisses me on my forehead before leaving the room, and it takes everything in me not to throw an elbow at his rib cage. I hate sneaky shit, and he’s always up to something.
    When I get up to take a quick shower, I notice Ray’s wallet lying on the floor by the table in the living room. Initially I pick it up and set it on the table, but something won’t let me walk away without looking inside it. Now, I know I would flip if Ray had gone through my personal belongings, and my conscience is telling me to just put it down and walk away, which I try several times.
    By the fifth time I find myself sitting on the bed, going through his wallet to see what he has going on. I find real basic stuff like his black card, identifications, charge cards to his favorite stores, and a few dollars folded up. Flipping through the picture department I smile at photos of him and me on vacations we had taken previously. I can’t help but smile at the memories.
    As I go further down the fold-out, my warm smile turns into an ugly shriek as I lay eyes on a nude picture of Barbara, the head nurse in Ray’s department.
    I take the picture out, so I can study it closer. I can’t believe the audacity of some people. Here this old wrinkled bitch is stretched out with her legs cocked wide open, smiling into the damn camera. When I flip the picture over, I am even further stunned. Under a sweet little message she wrote on the back of the picture, it is dated for December 18, 2006—Ray’s birthday.
    Â 
    Thinking back, I remember all I had to go through to make that day special for him. Jaydah and I had gotten into an argument because she wanted me to go to Norfolk with her to some book signings she had at the Military Circle Mall and other local bookstores over the weekend. Her biggest concern was having to take the