My Sister's an Alien by Gretel Killeen Page A

quit bouncing, shut my mouth and stop my eyes from blinking because otherwise Mum will definitely get suspicious and even though she won’t know exactly what’s happened she’ll punish me anyway. It could be terrible, it could be horrible: much worse than having a sister!’
    But actually Zeke need not have worried, because his mum didn’tseem to notice anything odd at all and walked straight past him to the middle of the playground where she bent down and kissed a small tree.

    â€˜Yahoooooooooooooooo,’ Zeke whispered softly. ‘Mum’s forgotten her glasses again.’
    â€˜Perfect,’ thought Zeke. ‘Mum’s blind as a bat and there’s no way I’mtelling her where her glasses are.’ (You see, much as Zeke adored his mum, he rather enjoyed his life as well, and although he apparently talked far too much in class and only tried half as hard as he could, Zeke was smart enough to realise that if he told his mum where her glasses were she would immediately see that Eppie was missing and he would of course cop all the blame.) So Zeke said nothing and ran off to the school sports equipment room where he borrowed a tennis racquet.
    â€˜Hi, Mum,’ said Zeke when he returned and gave his mum a peck on the cheek.
    â€˜Hello, Darling. Have you seen Eppie?’
    â€˜Yes, she’s here,’ said Zeke holding up the tennis racquet. ‘But she’s lost her voice so she can’t say too much.’
    â€˜Oh dear,’ said Mum. ‘Eppie’s voice probably just needs a rest. Voices gettired too you know.’ And with that Mum kissed the tennis racquet on the head, said “there, there” and the three of them got into the car.

    During the drive home Mum sang her favourite song, Achy Breaky Heart , which made all the dogs they passed on the way howl very loudly. Zeke was of course completely embarrassed, but when you’re in the middle of pretending your sister is a tennis racquet you are really in no position at all to criticise others.
    And so, instead of groaning and rolling his eyes as he normally wouldwhen his Mum sang Achy Breaky Heart , Zeke decided to pick a fight with the tennis racquet, just so Mum would think everything was normal.
    â€˜M-u-m, Eppie’s pinching me,’ said Zeke. ‘Mu-u-um, she’s kicking me. Mu-u-um, Eppie just poked her tongue out!’
    â€˜Quiet, you two,’ said Mum as she drove with her head stuck right out the window because she thought it might help her see a little better. ‘Quiet, you two or you’ll have no TV for the rest of your lives.’
    â€˜Good,’ said Zeke to himself. ‘Mum doesn’t suspect a thing.’
    Once they got home, things were really pretty good for a while. Zeke of course got to eat twice as much afternoon tea and when Mum realised that Eppie hadn’t eaten a crumb she sent the tennis racquet off to bed.
    â€˜I’ll take her,’ said Zeke, actingreally kind. ‘You just keep looking for your glasses.’
    â€˜Oh that’s so sweet of you,’ said Mum. ‘And when you get back down we’ll have a nice piece of chocolate cake.’
    (‘Actually,’ Zeke thought, ‘I’d rather have a new yoyo.’)
    All alone in Eppie’s room, he tucked the tennis racquet into bed, looked around and quietly began to think seriously what the rest of his life would be like without his little sister … ‘Fantastic!’ he decided.

    That night Zeke got to watch whatever he wanted on TV, his mother did nearly all his homework, and he got to stay up extra late. But then, just when he was about to clean his teeth and go to bed, his Mum said, ‘I’ll be up in a minute to give you a hug. I’ll just give Eppie her cuddle first.’
    â€˜No!’ yelled Zeke, jumping up from the couch. ‘You can’t hug her … because … because … because … because for all we know she