Never to Keep (Accepting Fate #1) by Aimie Grey

would be able to keep Peyton until Olivia came home. Even with his reassurance, I was still nervous as I sat in the cavernous courtroom. My clammy hands were clasped and my ankles crossed in a feeble attempt to remain still. The rapid clicks of the stenographer’s keys kept pace with my racing heart.
    I tried my best to listen to every word that was said; however, the tingling in my chest and the knot in my stomach made it difficult to focus. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing my precious little girl.
    “Madison Emilia Miller’s guardianship of Peyton Ann Miller is hereby extended until December thirty-first of this year.” The judge turned her attention to me. “The Department of Child Services will contact you in the next fourteen days to begin a home study. This guardianship order can be revoked at any time if DCS determines the living situation is unfit for the minor child.”
    The echo of the judge’s gavel through the grandiose room was the sweetest sound I’d heard in a long time. Every ounce of tension that had wreaked havoc on my body for the past few weeks was released when I exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding. The battle was over, and now I could concentrate on keeping everything together for the next few months.
    “Thank you, Your Honor,” I said. I gathered my belongings as Ethan waited impatiently for me on the other side of the half-wall that had separated us during the hearing. As soon as I was through the hip-level door, he pulled me into a bear hug, lifting me off of my feet.
    “This is fantastic,” he said as he swung me around in his strong arms.
    “I feel like splurging. Want to grab lunch at the cafeteria before we head back to work?” I asked.
    “I would hardly call hospital food a splurge.” He scrunched his nose and stuck out his tongue. He was absolutely adorable.
    “Anything that isn’t cereal or toast is a splurge for me,” I said, only half-joking.
    Hand in hand, we walked the six blocks to my house. It was a beautiful day. For those few, peaceful minutes, I could pretend my life was perfect.
    Once we were at the house, we changed out of our court attire back into our scrubs. “It’s kind of cruel to strip in front of me,” Ethan said when we were both standing in my bedroom in our underwear. I admired his hard body for a moment before I realized not every part of him was hard.
    “I know you think you want me back, but I don’t believe you truly do. You should go sow some wild oats—explore other options. Maybe then you’ll realize that I’m not who you really want to be with…not like that anyway.”
    “I’m going to keep trying,” he said, looking deeply into my eyes. “I can’t lose you.”
    “You won’t lose me. We’ll always be friends. We’ll always share an amazing history.” He ripped his eyes away from mine as I spoke. “You left me for a reason. You need to reconcile those feelings.”
    He was quiet as we finished getting dressed. My heart ached for the pain he felt because of me.
    “Let’s go eat,” I said to break the tension. “I’m starving.”
    We headed to the kitchen and left through the back door. “You really do have the best commute ever,” he said with a small smile.
    “You just want me for my house,” I joked. His body stiffened; it was too soon for humor. “It is great, but it will suck in the winter when there’s two feet of snow out here,” I said as we made our way across the backyard.
    He held the gate open for me as I stepped through to the emergency room parking lot.
    We made our way to the building through the sea of parked cars. I felt a distance between us that hadn’t been there earlier in the day. We walked into the air-conditioned hospital in silence and took the stairs to the second-floor cafeteria.
    “How’s Peyton doing in school?” Ethan asked around a mouthful of pizza. It was the first thing he’d said to me since right after we’d left the house.
    “She seems to be doing