New Forever by Yessi Smith

where to suck to make her moan. I know what makes her writhe and what makes her take flight in ecstasy.
    Her eyes, dancing with worry, watch me and I find myself moving further away from her. She has to leave before I break and forget what I’m protecting her from.
    “Max,” she sighs and I look back at her, wanting to take her worry and pain and carry it myself. “Max,” she whispers again, but I interrupt her before she can speak again.
    “What are you doing here, Hayley? There’s nothing left for you here.”
    She shakes her head at me and slowly gets off the bed and moves towards me. I try to move even further away from her, but I already have my back pressed against the wall. There’s nowhere else for me to go – I’m cornered. I clench my hands into fists and flick my eyes toward her briefly while she continues to walk towards me.
    “You’re here. That’s all I need.”
    Trapped. That’s how I feel. Trapped by her voice, my unwavering love for her, my inability to do what is right. So, I push her away in the only way I can, hoping my words cut deep enough that she’ll leave.
    “Is that what you want? Well here I am. I’ll take good care of you.” I point to the bed with my chin. “But then you leave.” My voice is cold and I hate the edge I’ve forcibly put behind each word.
    She takes a small step away from me, her eyes wide and brimming with tears, but she lifts her chin and dares me to take her.
    “Yeah, okay, let’s do this then.” Her smile doesn’t spread to her eyes, but I refuse to cave in to whatever game we’re playing. I hate that I have to hurt her, that I have to make her hate me. It’s the last straw I have to grasp at so I grab her shoulders, digging my fingers into her delicate skin and guide her to the bed. Already, I hate myself, but not quite as much as I hate whoever will come after me and mends her broken heart. But this is necessary. This is what’s right. For her. Always, only for her.
    I don’t take my time kissing her like I normally would, but release all of my frustration as I take over her body. Her body responds to my touches and I know I should stop, that I’m taking advantage of both of us, but I can’t find the will to do so.
    I lift up her shirt and cup her left breast roughly in my hand while I kiss her neck, smiling when a gasp escapes her lips. I move my attention to her lips and bite down as I squeeze her pebbled nipple between my fingers.
    “Max,” she whispers my name into my mouth while she wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me closer to her. She runs her fingers through my hair and pulls hard enough to jerk my head away from her lips.
    I see her eyes shining back at me with unshed tears as her chest hitches with each breath she takes. Cursing myself, I get off her. She lies there limply staring at me, her eyes wide with vulnerability while her body betrays her and trembles with the anticipation I’ve built up inside of her.
    “Just go, Hay,” I say, my voice so hoarse I don’t recognize it.
    “Not without you.” She looks back at me, her decision clear in her eyes and I’m torn between wanting to curse her and hug her. This woman, this beautiful, amazing woman, can be downright frustrating.
    Without a word, I go through her purse and get her car keys. With her purse on my arm, I pick her up off the bed and drape her over my shoulder and begin my trek down the three flights of outdoor stairs while she struggles and curses my name. It’s a good thing South Florida hotels have outdoor hallways and stairs or I’m sure the receptionist would have plenty to say about our little show.
    “Max!” Hayley shouts, biting my back until I’m sure she’s drawn blood while she continues to hang from my shoulder. I squeeze one arm around the bottom of her butt where I’m carrying her while I smack her ass with my free hand. I really shouldn’t be finding enjoyment out of this. I wipe the smile from my face and remind myself that I need her out