Oh Stupid Heart by Liza O'Connor

Carrie
and smiled at her. “And sometimes, you’ll come upon a person who isn’t worth
the effort and time to change. Negative people will suck the energy out of the
whole department, or in this case, a class.”
    Did he mean her?
    He pointed to the
empty chair of the guy he’d banished. “I’ll have to give a full refund to the
company that sent Bozo, the Clown. But it’s money well lost, because he isn’t
here, draining our energy. Without distractions, the four of you can put your
hearts into learning what I have to teach. Then you’ll go back, succeed in life,
and send me your best people to train. So I’ll make more money by sending the
ass home than allowing him to stay here, corrupting the entire group.”
    He walked to the
board and wrote Cut your losses!
    “Three strikes and
they’re out. If you give them three chances to change and they don’t, cut them
loose. Otherwise, they’ll drag your company down.”
    Carrie raised her hand.
“What if the boss won’t let them go?”
    “We have a whole day
of handling those above you. A lesson you’ll remember forever. But first, let’s
start with the basics.”
    After an hour of
ensuring they all understood the typical corporate structure and having each of
them share any differences in their company, Ian walked to the door and ushered
in a group comprised of a pretty young woman, seven geeks, and an old man in a
navy blue suit. Without any direction from Ian, they assembled a makeshift
conference table by shaping four narrow foldouts into a rectangle. Others separated
stacked chairs from a closet and placed them around it. Then they sat down and
began softly talking amongst themselves.
    Ian handed folders to
Carrie and the three guys, Brian, Charles, and Sander. “You are the COO of your
company and this is your Systems Group. I’ll give you ten minutes to read your
case file and then we’ll begin.”
    Despite none of them
had finished reading their file, ten minutes later, Ian began his lecture. “People
communicate in three ways: words, tone, and physical actions.” He dissected the
body language of each actor who demonstrated the behaviors and misbehaviors of
unhappy employees. “After each short lecture, you will have a chance to
practice your new management skills with your staff.”
    Carrie had never realized
how much her horrid employees had been saying when ignoring her questions.
    Over the next few
hours, the group took turns being boss to their unhappy systems staff. Instead
of each exercise getting easier as they learned more skills, the staff worsened
until they rivaled Trent’s employees.
    A young woman brought
pizza in so they could work straight through lunch. Carrie cursed herself for
not remembering to bring her own lunch. She couldn’t eat pizza due to her
lactose intolerance.
    She focused on Ian’s
lecture and ignored the unhealthy food offering.
    “Brian, step up and turn
your team around,” Ian barked.
    Brian studied his
prep sheet describing the situation currently depressing his staff.
    Having had several
goes with these actors who had the part of bad employees down to perfection,
Carrie grimaced at Brian’s condescending tone as he assured them the problem
seemed easy to solve. His words incited some of the group to near riot while
two withdrew from the discussion, one by crossing his arms, the other by
declaring the need for the bathroom and heading toward the door.
    Ian motioned the departing
actor to him. He leaned in close to Carrie and spoke softly. “What can you eat?”
    Not wishing to
disturb the class, she wrote down a list of things, hoping the guy could find
one of them.
    He handed the list to
the actor, who hurried from the room. Ian stroked her hair, before interrupting
the near riot Brian had inadvertently caused.
    “Okay, Brian, you’re
in trouble here.”
    Brian nodded in
agreement.
    “Where did he go
wrong?”
    Carrie and the others
blamed it on his tone and certainty the job was easy.
    Brian pointed