One Hundred Proposals by Holly Martin

bothered. They ambled over to see what had caused the great crowd but when they saw it was over, the last thing they were going to do was give chase to thirteen burly cows.
    My phone buzzed in my bag and I fished it out from amongst the tumble of rubbish. It was Harry.
    ‘Hey. Meet me by the fountain in five minutes. I just need to get changed.’
    I was still giggling when he came jogging over, thankfully dressed back in his jeans and T-shirt.
    ‘Well?’ He sat next to me and stole a chip. He didn’t seem bothered at all that it was now stone cold.
    ‘I loved it.’
    He laughed and slung his arm around me. ‘Happy Valentine’s Day Suzie.’
    ‘Aren’t you supposed to be with Sexy Samantha right about now, instead of entertaining me?’
    He shrugged. ‘She’s not returned my calls.’
    A flash of hurt crossed his face but it was gone so quickly I thought I might have imagined it. This wasn’t normal. He used to go through so many women when we first met, but he never grew attached to any of them.
    ‘So, no hot plans tonight?’
    He shook his head.
    ‘Surely not. Harry Forbes alone on Valentine’s Day night.’
    ‘Ah you know me, Suze, I don’t believe in all that rubbish anyway.’
    ‘You mean love?’
    He nodded.
    I frowned. To close himself off from the possibilities of love meant closing his heart to happiness. I understood he was trying to protect himself but not moving on at all didn’t sit with his happy, spontaneous demeanour. I decided to push it.
    ‘I don’t see how you can say that, considering the line of business we are in. We’ve seen so many happy couples get together, get married, live happy lives with each other.’
    ‘Loving someone means trusting them.’ He looked at me in a rare moment of seriousness. ‘I learned many years ago that I couldn’t trust anyone.’
    What was he hiding? I knew so little about his past. I’d asked but he always gave me the vaguest of information then changed the subject. I’d stopped pursuing it in the end.
    He took my hand. ‘I trust you, you’re my best friend. You’re the only one I do trust.’
    Though not enough to tell me why he had these issues in the first place.
    He picked up a chip and offered it to me, deliberately prodding me in the nose when I leaned forward to take a bite. I giggled and I sensed the moment was over.
    I loved this man. He made me laugh, he made me cry, he was there for me in every possible way that he could be. Who went to that much trouble for someone they just liked? What if… he
had
found love… with me? The only one he could trust.
    Jack’s letter dug into my back pocket, almost burning me with my brother’s final wish. I would tell him. In fact I would tell him tonight. I would never hurt him, he must know that and if he didn’t feel the same way then at least I would know, one way or another.

Chapter Six
    I stood at the bottom of Harry’s steps willing myself to do this. Jack was right, I had to tell him. I couldn’t go on like this, loving him from afar. Yes it would be weird between us, especially if he had no inclination in that area, but it wouldn’t affect our friendship. And if it did… I swallowed. If it did and he didn’t think he could be friends with me anymore then maybe without his constant presence in my life I could finally move on.
    I looked down at myself. I was dressed ok, my best jeans and a pretty flowered top. It wasn’t over the top. If I chickened out, he would never know what I had come here for tonight. We had done Chinese and movies a hundred times before, this would be totally normal at first. Then with a few glasses of wine inside me, I would simply tell him. I could do this. My heart leapt. I couldn’t do this.
    I sighed. One thing was for sure, if I didn’t go up the steps now and knock on his door, the Chinese was going to get cold.
    I walked up the steps with renewed determination. I was going to tell him. I rang the bell.
    There was no answer at the door, and no sign of